Was in in Dublin for the weekend and decided to watch Downfall on my laptop on the train journey back to the rebel County. I have been meaning to check it out for ages but never bothered, but i'm so glad in did now. The movie surrounds the last days of a certain Adolf Hitler (you know the guy: greasy comb-over, dodgy moustache, small man syndrome, walked like he left his clothes hanger up his arse) and the rest of his Nazi cohorts in his bunker in Berlin at the end of the Second World War. The movie is seriously intense and sweeps you up for over two hours and when i picked up the car at the train station, and drove home i was still thinking about it. So, you can imagine my surprise when i pulled into the petrol station in Blarney and saw this!


...AN SS GERMAN ARMY WWII ARMOURED VEHICLE!


...for a split second i thought the Nazi's had decided to regroup in Cork via Meath...I was going to wave at the fellah driving the pick-up truck but he might have taken my one armed salute the wrong way :-S

If Beckham or Ronaldo did this the papers would be getting a horn. Check out this bicycle kick...Lance Armstrong would be proud!

WACKO JACKO HAIR HORROR!

This would have been HUGE news back in the 80s and ended with Wacko pursuing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Pepsi, obviously not his choice for a new generation...of hairstyles. This is the first time the video of that incident has been released to the public. Jackson was recording a commercial for the drink's giant when the pyrotechnics went off too early... and he had a fair amount of Soul-Glo Hairspray on that head!



Here are a few videos that should put a smile on your face. First up, i don't think i'd be the first person to admire Denise Richard's funbags and now she is sharing them with everyone:

Denise Richards' Funbags from Denise Richards

And Spiderman and Milk actor James Franco reveals all about his profession:

Acting With James Franco Episode 1: "Sense Memory" from James Franco

I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE...

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

ON THE TUBE CALLED YOU

Well, it's only taken me a week (which in Internet terms is about 10 years) but i have managed to work out how to get my Marquee gig on youtube. Ok, i'm lying it wasn't me but my mate Larry *tips hat* so cheers dude. Now, i'm hoping for as many hits as that fat ankled eyebrow woman from Scotland but if i get more than 12 i'll be happy.

So, here we are. Me losing my stand-up virginity caught on tape. Please beware it's quite explicit and contains scenes of mild nudity!!

VASSSUPPPPPPPP!!!!! BRUNO UNMASKED.

Sacha Baron Cohen aka Ali-G, aka Borat, aka Bruno talking to David Letterman on his show last night. He describes the part in the Bruno movie where they mananged to interview a genuine terrorist (i just thought you look up T in your local Golden Pages or incorporate Allah into your stand up routine but NO it's much more complicated than that). He sounds very posh..he went to Cambridge don't you know... Oohhh vely nice.


WORLD'S SCARIEST NUMBER PLATE. WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T HONK YOUR HORN!

STANDING ROOM ONLY. CHECK THIS OUT:

RYANAIR has approached plane maker Boeing about the possibility of providing standing room or stools in place of traditional seats on board its aircraft.

The airline, which is hoping to squeeze more passengers on board, said those standing or using the stools could fly for free.

It said if Boeing comes back and says it is possible to replace four rows of seats with stools or standing space it will prepare a proposal for the Irish Aviation Authority (IAA) seeking approval.

Continue reading story HERE



Still trying to upload my Marquee bit on youtube. Issues with converting and all that shite. If i don't get it up by Friday it'll be ancient news...ahh the wonderful world of the web. In the meantime laugh and be merry with this brilliant parody of 'Yellow' by top U2 tribute act Coldplay. It's from a guy called Jon Lajoie and it's hilarious and a little naughty *giggles*. A subject that is close to all our hands:

TOILET HUMOUR!!

FIRST OFF THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED. LEGENDS.

SOME PICS FROM BACKSTAGE FRIDAY NIGHT:

'Frank' (Brian Cody) who had to rip the toilet up with me on it as i was called to the stage looks on as i try not too emabarrass myself ;-)


Okay, time to get respectable. Nice mic placement.


And into the main meal. Although it was 5 mins it felt like 30 secs. The stage was huge but i am proud of the fact that i am the first performer to execute a 'roly-poly' at The Marquee :-)

MORE PICS AND VIDEO TO FOLLOW.

There is also a piece i wrote in the Evening Echo tonight so check it out!!

X MARKS THE SPOT!


"Jesus, whatever you do don't look down"


It was getting quite hot in there at this stage. I felt a tad overdressed ;-)

UPDATE ON MY CHALLENGE:

IF YOU CAN SACRIFICE A FEW QUID PLEASE HELP ME HIT THIS €5,000 TARGET.

I have set up a charity web page that makes it really easy to donate.

Anything at all would be great.

Thank You.

Just click here: LENNY'S CHARITY PAGE

WHAT A LEGEND!

Rooster listener Gavin with his visor


I got to get one of these for me Micra!!

We have to raise €5,000 before Friday for Barnardo's Children's Charity in Cork. I think we can really do this. Rooster heads have proven in the past how fantastic ye are and at least my irregular bowel movements over the coming days will not have been in vain.

We have set-up an account at A.I.B. on Patrick Street and if you can throw in a couple of Euro on your lunch break or whenever it would be incredible.

Account number: 36706396 Sort Code: 93-42-83

And thanks a million

Today we also had Graffitti Artist Finbarr A.K.A. DAC and his spray partner in crime FARK FK. To see some of their incredible work check out their website


Finbarr deep into the creative process. He had less than an hour to create a spray paint portrait that was unique to the city of Cork. We asked listeners to text in all things Cork, from potato pies, to Sean Og, through to pints of Murphy's and the Shandon Bells.

And the result. *drum roll*


We have the Shandon Bells, Father Mathew, Blarney Castle (i may have nudged him on that one ;-) and finally a pint of Murphy's. I think it's absolutely feckin brilliant. Well done to Damien Leary from Douglas who gets to take home this unique piece of original art.

And here's a piece i got myself! It's a brand new character by FARK. SWEET.



Me (looking somewhat like a disgruntled Mexican Simon Cowell :-/ ) FARK FK, Rachel from Fat Face and finally Finbarr (DAC) with his masterpiece.

"Whatya mean the f*ckin immersion is on!"


Des politely requests that i do the warm up

My first day back after a few days off and already i am shoulder deep in it!! I was already distraught in the knowledge that me being off the show last week may have inadvertently led to the premature demise of The King of Pop. I came to this conclusion because a previous break cost Joe Dolan his life although that was over Xmas so i can be forgiven. If you were listening to the show this morning you would have heard me accept a challenge...The challenge is to warm-up for Des Bishop at Live at The Marquee on Friday night...Now, i remember waking up in a wheelie-bin once with a leaf of lettuce as a toupe, and people pointed and laughed, but this is different i have to make them laugh WITH me not AT me, although a healthy dose of both may just get me through, and if that fails surely some inventive horse-themed shadow puppetry will go down a treat. The goal is to raise over €5,000 for a local charity between now and Friday. We will have more details for you tomorrow but if me making a ghowl out of myself can raise some cash for a brilliant cause i'm well up for it :-)

Now, time for Yoga breathing exercises ......*clench* *release* *clench* annnndddd relax *parp* whoooooopps :-S

I might be warming up for Des Bishop but i think it's Beth Ditto that needs the support...

The was a story in the papers recently about a divebombing Blackbird that has been attacking passersby in San Francisco. Apparently, she is protecting her nest, situated on top of the building canopy. I heard that she is being pursued by Hollywood Celebs to keep the Paps away:



That then reminded me of the GREATEST bird story i have ever witnessed. Sam the seagull was a little Scottish feathered tea-leaf who spent every morning strollinginto his local newsagents and pinching a packet of Tangy Cheese Doritos...GENIUS:



HOLY CRAP THE STIG IS REVEALED:


...to be honest i was more shocked at Jeremy Clarkson's illuminous orage shirt...he looks like a f*cking traffic light!

OBAMA MIYAGI
There really is no flies on this President:


Which reminded me of:



Also on the show today. Ever lost your luggage? I have and it is a ballbag bollox situation of Beth Ditto proportions. There is a lady who felt so sorry for victims of bag loss that she setup a website to help. She is the "Suitcase Saviour":

www.isthisyourluggage.com

MUST WATCH TV TONIGHT
BRITAIN'S YOUNGEST BRIDES 8pm TONIGHT ON TV3

It features a travelling family from Ireland living in the UK and are determined to make Catrina the Bride stand out on her big day. I think they acheived that by making the dress weigh 20 stone and the circumference of ring of Saturn. She can't even get INTO the limo :-S

CLICK HERE FOR A PREVIEW

D'OH!

NOw we spoke about this plank yesterday but i never saw the dude who did the tattoo. Watch this and ask yourself...how did he NOT tattoo her whole feckin head!?

CLUE FOR THE WORD...


Geddit???? ;-) If you do it will win you over €1,000 EVERYDAY 7.05am and 8.05am just dial 1890 773336 when you hear the cue to call...GOOD LUCK!

In other news...i know he has been playing the same character for the past ten years, i think they call it O.W.S. (Owen Wilson Syndrome...can be crippling but won't affect your bank account) but i still find Blackie quite entertaining. This is him on Letterman last night...what i love about this clip is how the band just lead it smoooove....RAWK!!



Did you know that JB made his debut in an ATARI ADVERT...when he was 13!! Check it out:

..If you thought Harvey Norman was as mad as a barrell of fidgety arse beetles, then check out Crazy Gideon. He once bought an album by Scouting for Girls...he must be f*cking insane!

UP DA REBELS!

Well done to Cork Footballers for getting to the Munster Final. Beating the auld enemy is always good and i bet there was much Goochy handbags swinging at the end by the Kerry boys...

Apart from the TV3 commentary team looking like they were extras from Airwolf with the helicopter headpieces, one thing that caught my eye was Darragh O Se...Is it me or is he the bulb off Mad Tom from Father Ted???!!!


Mad Tom from Father Ted..."Me dog bit me fadder, dusint it look like a face?"

Darragh O Se

Tomorrow we have the founder of the Cloud Appreciation Society and we are talking about Female Bodybuilding...or Brickshithouse Birds as they techinically refer to it


A Dancing cloud..."Night Fever, night fevveeeerrrrrrrrr"

Wossy gets more than he candle handle..."It feels loike a bag of wocks"

So, i had a few days off and am now back in the saddle. Gotta say that Bed is so underrated and oooh i had a lie-in on Wednesday until ...hold on....nearly HALF NINE!! I know i'm a crazy Mofo but i like living dangerously...last week i abseiled down the skirting board...and the skiing in the kitchen...MAD. The big news of course has been about a particularly greasy individual who has become the most expensive footballer in the world with a deal worth nearly €100m. As far as i'm concerned that's f*cking sick money no-one is worth that but obviously Alex Ferguson is not going to say NO. Apparently, Ronaldo celebrated this cash windfall with a night in Paris Hilton. I think a date at the Clinic has been confirmed for Christiano, although i'd say he has engaged in some horizontal jogging with some ropey ladies. I say this because i remember reading a piece in the News of the World once and the hooker that said she slept with him looked like Gerry Ryan...GRIM :-(



Now, Paris Hilton can probably suck a golf ball through a silly straw but i don't see the attraction. Braindead, and over exposed i can't help thinking that she is the bulb off Rodney from Only Fools & Horses..."Oi, Ronaldo you PLONNNKKKKKEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!"



She's obviously taking eating tips from him aswell...

HAPPY MONDAYS

Great band ... Shit day

That could all change once you've watched these videos, i hope they will put a :-) on your face!

From the man who brought you The Apprentice mash-up. Here is a reminder if you missed it:



First time i heard that i nearly collapsed...although thta was probably the Lamb Biryani i reheated in the microwave, but let's face it - if a funny clip fills your pants you are onto a winner. So, here is the genius who made The Apprentice mash up at it again with some other famous peeps. This must have taken years off his life. We salute you cassette boy. GENIUS:

First up Jeremy Clarkson, the chino wearing slack jawed loudmouth from Top Gear:



The Streets (memba him...yeah, he is kinda shit now) is his own biggest critic:



And finally. This one comes with a WARNING. "X-Rated Harry Potter re-edit. Not safe for work, children or people who believe in wizards." SO THERE YOU GO. But, it's very funny:

POLE DANCING

Well it's that time of the year when we will all (well those of us old enough to skulk pints legally...no, gatting in a ditch at 14 doesn't count...i mean the manchild ripe old age of 18) be heading to the Poles with our erect....sorry *coughs* election ballots and casting our democratic right to vote. So, to celebrate the eventual pulling down of the posters that have blighted our landscape for the past few weeks. Jesus, i feel like a guest in a dodgy stately home or castle staying in a room with a ropey portrait with moving eyes watching my every writhing naked carefree ...(whoa, sorry about that) move... Anywho, if anything i'll be glad to see the back of their fat heads staring at me every shagging day!!! (and relax....penguins in dungarees) ...aaaahhhhh that's better. So, here is my rundown of some of the best posters about:


Obviously one of my faves, and spotted in my own backyard of Blarney. It's FF with EffOff and their one finger salute, which is the first honest thing they have done in the last decade.


FG get the star treatment. Looking more like the Sergeant Pepper's album cover, Mr. McAdams does possess some rather fetching eyebrows.


A tad ironic!


Bert becames the first politician to openly admit to having a fist up his behind.


Hold on is that Kian from Westlife??!! *rubs eyes* "We need change now" yeah you do, it looks like he is trying to escape from the poster.


Rolling up on the campaign trail.

And my own personal choice...

No caption required.


And, if you do meet this man today he is not part of any legally elected party so just beware. Or just vote for him ye might as well, there's fuck all else to choose from.

And finally...

WHOOPS!!

I put in the wrong video yesterday *beats back with knotty stick* Here is the "Human Slinky" on stage for Aussies Got Talent Too Ye Flamin' Gallah and the live birth!

CHEESUS CHRIST LOOK AT THIS!

It seems that even the credit crunch has hit heaven. If you didn't hear, the "Second Coming" took place recently when the Son of God appeared in a packet of Cheeto snacks in the US:



I know Neighbours is shite and Home and Away is a bit dodge, but Australia really does have talent...The Doctor is always telling m,e to check down under, so i did, and i found this...It's a human slinky...and a live birth..GENIUS:

P.S. I bet he gets down the stairs quick


And finally, something cute. Yeah, i know you all think i have a black heart but i don't...Darth Vader is a second cousin, it's these tight jeans, i mean genes are to blame. This is a little baby Anteater. He looks like he is wearing a spandex onesy or a pair of Dungarees! Smile ye heartless b*stards!

RED GOT CHILLED OUT FECKER!

The Red Rooster had the pleasure of having this man on the show this morning. He didn't have a cigarette poking out of his nostril (although we never asked...hmm) It is the legend that is Chad Smith, skin man with the Red Hot Chili Peppers and a sticks supremo. After the disastrous interview a couple of weeks ago with Jimmy "Fucknut" Flo-Rida, who couldn't even muster up a full sentence this was an absolute pleasure. It was actually difficult to get a word in! This guy has every right to be a prick. 20 years at the top in one of the biggest bands in the world and with enough cash to fill a mattress factory but i suppose if you're cool...you're cool, money and fame don't change that...but if you're a dick it enhances it. So, what i'm saying is Chad Smith is what they call "pure daycent biy" around these parts. If you missed this mornings special then don't miss the FULL UNEDITED and EXPLICIT interview on Transmission from 7pm Friday night.
And the edited version will be on-air again in the Best Of... show on saturday morning between 10am and 12pm.

And if you can't catch either of them check out this fantastic interview with a slightly frazzled Chad talking about his "shaved potatoes" ENJOY:



And the Chillis favourite gig?? Where else but Slane 2003:



Don't miss Chad and his new incarnation as Drummer with supergroup Chickenfoot playing at the Marquee on June 23rd. Keep listening as we will be giving more tickets away on the show. Either way, don your denim and get those air guitars out cos it will be flammable! *RAWK* :-P

BRUNO TEABAGS EMINEM -
IT'S THE REAR SLIM SHADY!




And if that wasn't weird enough for you, check this out. It's called MY MONKEY BABY and is on Channel 4 tonight at 10pm. It's about people who substitute monkeys for children. My Monkey Baby looks at couples who raise monkeys, who are spoilt rotten: they have their own bedrooms; the latest toys and games; a seat at the dinner table and in the car; wardrobes full of designer clothes; and even make-up. And in the park their "primate parents" push their monkeys in prams to play on the swings and slides. To Lori and Jim Johnson, Jessica Marie is far more than a Capuchin monkey. "If I hear anyone call her a monkey I throw a fit," says dad Jim, "She's my daughter, 100 per cent". For Lori, having a "monkid" seemed the perfect answer to her needs: "I knew exactly what I was going to do, she was going to be a baby I was going to have forever." JESUS LORD.

Here is a clip from tonight's show.

WARNING: Contains disturbing rednecks.


MONKEY BABY CLIP

PAT KENNY TEAK TUMBLEWEED TRIBUTE

The longest running chat show in the world goes through another menopausal change tonight as Pat "The Plank" Kenny has his final coat of varnish applied tonight. He will not feature tonight (i was hoping for some caged ultimate fighting) but Tubridy is to take over the helm..we seem to be going from a plank to a broom but he is sharp so i think he will make a good sub. Gabriel Byrne and Louis Walsh and various others will help him to apply the Cuprinol. It's been 10 years and in that period of time we have seen Pat manage to stuff his size eleven feet firmly between his chops and induce the viewer (well at least those that still have their cataracts intact) to dive behind their sofas in shame. Get ready for the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up and your eyes to fold in cringe as i present the finest moments of the man who made Pinocchio look wooden...(oh shit hold on he was made of)...anyway. Let's lift our 2 by 4's and salute The Kenny

BEHOLD HIS FINEST MOMENTS:


First up the Toy Show debacle when he tore the tickets up live on tv:


Jimmy Carr displays his razor tongue as Pat cowers:


Pat proves he believes The Minstrels are still touring:


This guy was on the show this morning. Pat's veneer almost cracked here. Almost as cracked as the guy jumping up on the stage:


And finally, my finest Pat moment ever...Poor Pat he's very innocent ;-)

Well there's a certain game on tely tonight called the Champions League Final and i will be rooting for the Red Devils *ducks* Okay...jaysus i know there's a lot of Liverpool fans listening to the show and a few Barca flag wavers will crawl out of the woodwork for the evening but i got my first United jersey when i was 11 and i had to work 12 hour shifts 7 days a week in the local mine to pay for it...times were tough in the eighties...so i think i have paid my United dues. I am hoping for a goal fest but the first ten minutes will be CRUCIAL so this is why i think we need Carlos Tevez the little Argentinian Tasmanian Devil to provide the pre-match entertainment with his band - Piola Vago...if anything it will scare the shit out of the Barca fans and hopefully send the players into a wild frenzy where they jump on Messi leaving him to flee shredded from the stadium...all i can say is, Carlos, don't give up the day job dude :-S

HEALTH WARNING: MAY INDUCE EAR BLEEDING



There might be 22 players on the pitch but tonight is all about two wizards:

First up is the Greasy Lover Wing Wizard Christiano Ronaldo. I think if he gets anywhere within 35 yards of the box toinght in a deadball situation it's back of the net time:

P.S. I'm seriously digging the soundtrack on this vid!!



And this little genius. He is still only 21 years old and even Maradonna desrcibed him as "my only successor". One of the greatest players to pull on a pair of boots. It's Lionel Messi:



PREDICTION: 2 - 2 at full time. After 3 - 2 to United after Extra Time. Tevez to pop up in the box or a header from Vidic. Anywho, it will be a classic!! ENJOY.

THE RED ROOSTER WRESTLER!!!


...clearly he didn't :-S

ON THE SHOW: EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW ;-)

Trudging through the murky bowels of the Interwebnet computar ting i managed to find the original inspiration for the show. The RED ROOSTER was the name of a wrestler from the late eighties who, plucked from under the wing of his Mother's nest and sent to become the cock of the walk in the wrigley world of WWF. However, it was a case of go pluck yourself in this most iconic and famous match in wrestling history... *tumbleweed* Okay, so it wasn't up there with Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior but he was a little plucker and gave it his all:

HANDBAGS AT 50 PACES: It's the build up!


THE BIG MATCH:

"Mr Perfect is keeping to wrestling while the Rooster is trying to turn it into a brawl" OOOOhhhh YEEAAAHHH!!!

SUMMER LOVIN'

What a weekend...i actually managed to get a farmer's tan, which is no mean feat considering my fridge sees more light when you open the door that this Country has a year. I just hope that doesn't bode for a sunny week here then depression... *smacks head off desk* SORRY..i know i'm stating the obvious but had to get it off my chest...with a little bit of skin that's peeling...uuggghhh. Anyway just incase you want to experience that Summer Lovin' feeling laid back in your rocking chair with a cold one in your hand and a warm red face then get this:

YOU NEED SOUND

AUTHENTIC CRICKET SOUND - CLICK HERE

THE ULTIMATE GIFT FOR THE WOMAN YOU LOVE...

If you are away regularly or happen to have yourself a job on the oil rigs then fear not for your fine lady. Recreate your "shoulder to lie on" with this latest Partner Pillow:


PILLOW TALK: The only issue would be waking up and forgetting it's a pillow...although if they bring out a female version...*coughs* i think they already have...and they usually involve a footpump :-S

Went to buy a few bits and pieces this weekend at a new little supermartket around the corner but couldn't help feeling that i was being watched...There was something about that place...ummm can't quite put my finger on it:

...Ummm i just don't trust this shop

NICE EARRINGS...

"Here love put the bins out will ye!?"

Nick Hell is his name...Paul Daniels had Debbie McGee, Nick has Bilbo Baggins:

JUMPING JACK!

Here's the latest Corkonian dancing sensation that would put Flatley to shame! Little Lord of the Dancing Baby Jack O Connell struts his stuff:



In Other News:

I think if this fella tried this down Panna he would get dropped:


Scare Prank Shouting Man on the Street - Funny home videos are a click away

Okay, now we have all been caught balancing weights on our bits or attempting to jump on the treadmill while it is at full speed...*tumbleweed*...Erm, okaaaayyyyy so that's just me *coughs* Well, if you do have a tendency to do mad shit with stuff down the gym PLEASE do NOT try this at home or the gym...unless of course you have massive balls. Check this looper out:

LADY GAGA MISTAKEN FOR HOOKER SHOCKER

I know it's hard to swallow and even i was taken aback and nearly choked on my batter burger when i read this:

LADY GAGA was mistaken for a prostitute when she posed for photos in Russia’s Red Square wearing a leather leotard.

The singer asked her driver to stop at the landmark so she could have him take photos of her.

But police arrived and started making hand gestures at her.

She revealed: “I was having a little photo shoot and all of a sudden the police came out of nowhere and clapped their fingers.

“I said, ‘I think it means whore in Russian.’”

Jesus, what is it with these people...first the Cold War and now this. How could you possibly mistake her for a Hooker?


Lady GaGa


Hooker

See, there's no resemblance.

BEST BIRDS ON TV!

Okay that headline is a little bit misleading, but got your attention didn't it...NO?? Jesus, tough crowd. Anywho i'm not talking about Holly Willobaps from the X Factor but these Birds who have come home to roost on BBC4 for a second season. I know it started last week but i don't have a f*cking time machine so this will have to do here...Of course, it's Brett and Jemaine from "New Zealand's fourth most popular folk guitar-based digi-bongo accapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo" It's back on BBC4 tonight at 10.30pm (way past my bedtime i'm afraid and i can't record the bastard on my tv but i'm such a selfless individual i am passing on the knowledge...i know, i know it's okay) So here is a little snip from one of the forthcoming shows Directed by the French genius Michel Gondry. It's about too many Dicks on the dancefloor...check out the disco balls at the end...GENIUS. Enjoy:



And if that's not your bag, check out the Sci-Fi Channel tonight at 8pm for the secong season of the brand new Knight Rider...gotta say i only caught a few of these last year but the car is SICK! Think it's a Mustang and is more like a Transformer...makes the original Hoffmobile look like Del Boy should have been driving it!

THE WORLD'S MOST POINTLESS ESCALATOR

I'm getting one of these in the house... I can see the advert....."Ah man i have to walk to the throne to drop the box!" Cheesy American Voiceover: "Not anymore you lazy b*stard...Get the Lardass 3000 and we guarantee you'll get rickets in your legs from lack of movement"



And just for good measure...Mr. Richard Nose...apparently this guy is very popular with the ladies...It's the Real Cyrano De Bergerac:

EUROJINGLE TINGLE

After the woeful failure of our Irish entry into the Eurovision. Actually here's a big fat middle finger to the Eurovision because i thought that the girls really did their best the other night and deserved to qualify. Ah well, what they should have done is enter the Red Rooster Eurojingle competition and they could have won a €1000 shopping voucher and not a plot in the graveyard of Eurovision pop failures. Well Done to Megan Desmond from Farranree who won our Comp this morning with her rendition of Eminem's "We Made You" for her jingle which will be recorded in our studio and banged out over the airwaves in the coming weeks so keep listening!

Really though we should have taken the horse by the horn *coughs* erm i think that's bull...We should have taken the horse by the MANE *phew* and sent these boys...And if this Parochial Partnership couldn't do it NEVER SEND ANYONE AGAIN!!!!



CLICK HERE FOR THE ORIGINAL MY LOVELY HORSE

P.S. I know Dermot "the legend" Morgan passed away but if they dug him up he'd be better than the rubbish that is on the show every year!

And finally MY VIDEO OF THE WEEK:

Ronaldo begins to question his little striker:

EXCLUSIVE NEWS FLASH

It's not often i bring you any news worthy of a U.N. intervention but today that all stops. This is an incredible and touching story from Mexico of a lady and her breast implants.

CLICK TO ENLARGE (the picture not her breasts...that's the surgeon's job)

And i know you are all buzzing with anticipation at the Eurovision Song Contest Semi-Final tomorrow night *coughs* Have you even seen the Irish entry?! She is called Sinead Mulvey and her band is Black Daisy. Gotta say i would rather watch these ladies than a rubber burd in a washing machine although i have to say that Dustin last year must have given Easter Europe war flashbacks to horror and stopped them voting. It was grim. We might have a chance but i doubt it. My money is on Saturn they have a great chance.

Speaking of Eurovision LAST CHANCE to enter our competition to win €1000 Shopping Voucher with Blackpool Shopping Centre. Drop into the centre before close today or CALL 086 8950999 and record your jingle over the phone




VIDEO OF THE DAY:

UP YOURS!!



Finally some honesty from Fianna Fail...BEST ELECTION POSTER EVER!! Had to do a duble take as i drove past this on the road out of Blarney on Saturday. After rubbing my eyes i turned around and parked up to take a pic...it is genuinely one of the funniest things i have ever seen and sums up the way they have been treating the country for the past decade, i think whoever did this should be elected!

GLOBAL WARNING
Coincidentally i got sent this photo this morning of some clouds. I sense a theme:

Mother Nature has clearly had enough.

This is actual footage of me getting out of bed today:

Getting out of my leaba was like being there for my own ceasarian birth but without the mess...if you just imagine my sheets were like an umbilical cord and my bed....well i'll just leave it there! Anywho due to my lack of sleep and recurring hallucinations due to counting only 5 sheep last night (my wooly maths is usually around the ten mark) i am heading home to bed and will retire like Batman to my cave and dive back under my Masters of the Universe duvet. In the meantime enjoy these pictures they will make you laugh. And THANKS A MILLION TO ALL OF YOU FOR READING MY BLOG WE ARE NOW OVER THE 100,000 MARK FOR HITS...HERE'S SOME CAKE


And random pic of the week:

It's a Footato...GENIUS he look vely happy...i wonder if your fries would smell of cheese... :-(

And to celebrate this momentous occasion...let us remind ourselves of the great Mulligan and O' Hare and their tremendous and thought provoking album...Tittybiscuits:

HE'S HOFF HIS HEAD!

After being found nearly hoff dead, it sounds like it might be time for leather clad legend David Hasselhoff to hang up the bottle and get sober. Looking at these videos though you wonder whether he even knew what hemisphere he was in making these:


Jaysus! Hooked on something else i'd say... :-S


I think Pipex reviewed his contract after the infamous Burger video...BELOW


"Hayyyssshhh jussstttttttshhhhhh takkkeeee aaabb iiitteee offvff mmeeeeee burrrrgggeerrsssshh"

LADY GAGA'S LATEST REALITY SHOW - POKER FARCE