They say a week is a long time in Politics, well i think the same can be said of Blogging!! As my own ramblings are of worldwide importance and whatever i say could possibly swing the vote in the American election, i have been instructed by my team of advisors to resume my writings for the benefit of the reading public and the future of mankind as a whole. No pressure then, :-S. I may not be saving the world, although i have been known to throw on a spandex onesy while spinning in a phone-box, (although the alarming depletion in the number of boxes has led to a few minor convictions for indecent exposure) the truth is i haven't been very well of late and had to head home early last week after a few of the shows and straight into my leaba to sleep off a nasty bout of the flu...If you ever get the flu you know what it's like - swimming upstream with a head full of snot, while you have the strength of Montgomery Burns. Thankfully i'm coming to the end of my little adventure and hoping that it clears this week *throws fist in the air*!!! In the meantime it's high time I threw together some bits and pieces for you to chew on -
On Friday we broadcast from Blackpool Shopping Centre for a very special Halloween themed show. Here was the set-up on the bridge looking across the centre:
...i think we must have been on a toilet break here...although the show continued without us...ooooohhhhhh SPOOKY!!!
...i know it looks like the fair City cast in rehearsals but it is infact the Wolfe School of Dance who performed a brilliant and scary (i'm still wearing my adult nappy) rendition of 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson. Well done girls it was class!!
And a Shaggy Dog Story!!!
Here's something i found in the archives. It's me and my dog equivalent at the Irish Guide Dogs for the Blind open day a few months back!
Here's the latest installation from self styled Urban Artist BANKSY...He's the guy who's little graffitti rats, cops and various characters have been unleashed on London for the last ten years. He is now moving into animatronics and has set up this so-called "Pet Shop" in the middle of New York. I think it's brilliant. See for yourself.
The ultimate in car crash TV. Kerry Katona on This Morning breakfast show clearly not in a right state of mind. Reminds me of a British Britney and unfolding like one of those vaudeville freak shows in the Midwest of America. "Ladies and Gentleman, roll up, roll up and see this former "star" self destruct in front of your very eyes" Painful.
Moving on to something much more upbeat and someone who's head is firmly attached to their shoulders. This morning we had the brilliant Irish singer/songwriter Wallis Bird in the studio for a live acoustic session. She is definitely one of the soundest and most affable guests we had on the show and she gave us a fantastic burst of her new single - Blossoms in the Street from her album Spoons. Check it out. Let's face it she's the only guest we've had that has had stamps made for her! (a very practical gift from a fan...weird but surprisingly useful...she used them to post a letter and they worked!!!!)
And finally it looks like the government have turned to Defence Minister, Wee Willie O'Dea to sort out the Medical Card fiasco:
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Could this be the Xmas number 1?? The hot tip for the top spot is this mauling of minds between Techno Deutschland demi-god Scooter...(it's nice to be important, but more important to be nice...SCOOTER BACK IN THE UK!!!!!!!!!!) and denim-wearing easy rock specialists Status Quo. Sounding like it was created in the bowels of hell, i suspect it'll be Satan and not Santa who will make this Christmas No.1...
CELEBRITY SWEARJAR IS UP TO €700
HERE ARE SOME MORE INCORRECT GUESSES:
FRY FROM FUTURAMA ROBERT DOWNEY JNR VIN DIESEL JIM HENSON ARNOLD SCHWARZNEGGER BART SIMPSON BIG BIRD DATA FROM STAR TREK KERMIT THE FROG JOHNATHAN ROSS ERNIE FROM SESAME STREET
Here is the Eminem prank from this morning...He rings rapping childhood hero LL COOL J, who is a guest on a radio show, and pretends to be 'Jason from Miami' he challenges J to a 'Name that Tune' game...this is class:
"You sound hot saying the joints, you need to get some beats man!"
Monday, October 20, 2008
WELL DONE TO BLARNEY HURLING TEAM!!
After waiting 70 years Blarney with join the big boys next year in the Senior Hurling League after a titanic battle with the brilliant Courcey Rovers at Pairc Ui Chaoimh yesterday! Like i said there's a load of red & white bunting all over Blarney at the moment so they had to win...that bunting don't come cheap ;-)
TODAY WE KICK-OFF YOU SAY, WE PAY
As we all know by now, the 'Credit Crunch' is not a new line of breakfast cereal but the time when the tax-man fla's the arse off us without so much as a peck on the cheek.Well, fear ye not because we are giving away thousands of lovely notes over the coming weeks.
If ye wanna be in with a chance to win - just TEXT 'Phrase' with your name to 0868273336 and you're registered to play. Oh yeah...nearly forgot you also need to know the CASHPHRASE - "I listen to Cork's RedFM" Simple as that. GOOD LUCK me beauties!!!
Here's a few funny bits to cough up the weekend to:
...remember your first day on the job? Couldn't have been as bad as this guy...He was employed to interpret the sign language, and it goes a little arseways!!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Here's an advert for how to lose your girlfriend and never be approached for a date ever again...unless you can blow her up....how bored do you need to be to take a photograph of yourself every day for 17 YEARS!!! Yes 17 YEARS!!!!
Watch this guy's hair grow, recede, mullet appear and disappear, beard arrive and then leave...a lot has happened on his head since he started in 1991!
Now i hope that Hurling fans hair won't be going grey this weekend when BLARNEY take on COURCEY ROVERS ON SUNDAY IN THE INTERMEDIATE COUNTY HURLING FINAL...GOOD LUCK TO BOTH SIDES...(by that i mean Blarney!!! well i am a little biased like ;-)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
CELEBRITY SWEARJAR IS UP TO €600!!!
STOP WORRYING. I SAY F**K THE BUDGIES!
"What did you say ye twat?"
"SORRY, SORRY!!!!!!!!! I meant Budget, "F**K the BUDGET."
"Okay, okay that's fine but you're still a twat."
"PHEW, Thanks"
So, Celebrity Swearjar is back so forget your Budget woes and be in with a chance to win loads of wonga!!! We need to find the final three voices...CLUE: They're all male but you gotta start thinking outside the box for one or two!!!
HERE ARE SOME INCORRECT GUESSES TO TICK OFF:
MATTHEW BRODERICK SYLVESTER STALLONE DAVID BECKHAM DES BISHOP BRAD PITT MARIO FROM BIG BROTHER WILL FERRELL JOHN C. REILLY JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE MISS PIGGY CHRISTINA AGUILERA OZZY OSBOURNE KERMIT THE FROG BEN STILLER RORY BREMNER
CELEBRITY SWEARJAR is on everyday at 8.05am CALL - 1890 773336
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
MORE P.P.I. RADIO AWARDS ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!
Found some more pics from the night...
Take That reconsidered their reunion after time had ravaged their once youthful looks!
That scared looking individual looking up is Sean MonCrieff!! I think the blue rinse and rollers in the first few tables blew off...as did KC who like an embarrased son who's Mum has just popped out of her bra at a Wedding disco he has denied all knowledge of my existence...."Lenny...erm don't know who you're on about" *legs it*
The International Sign of Rock!!!!!!!!! "Up Da Rebels"
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I think news reporters relsih the BIG stories...just check out the armchair and wineglass! Priceless.
Monday, October 13, 2008
BEST BREAKFAST BOOSTER FOR THE ROOSTER
RedFM won six awards overall on Friday night which is an incredible achievement for everyone here at the station. Myself and the Tall Guy won Best Breakfast Show 2008 beating off National and Regional competition. It's the FIRST TIME ANY SHOW OUTSIDE OF DUBLIN has won the award so we are really chuffed...I think i made my feelings known when we took to the stage and after i horrified Presenter Patrick Kielty with an attempt to kiss him on the cheek...he flinched and i knew he was uncomfortable so i tried the other cheek!!! Up close he actually looks like he has translucent skin and a wig which was weird (note: that could have been me off my tits.) I did manage to get in an "UP DA REBELS" scream though and with a heavy metal two horned salute that nearly blew the make-up and rollers off the grey rinse brigade sitting in the closest tables to the stage. So, it was a brilliant night for RedFM and for Cork.
Here's a few pics of the night's activities:
"Just a one Cornetto - GIVE IT TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
Myself and the big fella i need to get a box for these photo ops!
GROUP ACTION - Had to get my new handbag in...i'm weak! (thanks to Caroline in Production ;-)
Just adjusting my clip-on tie
Another great group shot that does look like about ten individual pics in one!!
Duran Duran eat your heart out!!!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Here is the best analysis i have seen of the American Election so far...GENIUS
IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER LENNY PHOTO ALBUM MOMENT *drum roll* HERE IS A SELECTION OF SOME OF THE PHOTOS I TOOK ON MY PHONE THIS WEEK..OOOOHHH I'M SO EXCITED:
SANTA'S GROTTY: It looks like Santa has been ripped off by the Elves and is on the streets
DUBLIN ZOO "Here can i borrow your mobile to make a trunk call?" "No, fuck off"
TONGUE MASTER In his early years George's tongue was used to tow tractors...
My fave RANDOM pic: How much is that Piggy in the window...
Oh God how did that get in there *pulls at collar nervously*
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
This morning we were talking about Celebrities who have 'sold out'...I suppose if Mr Marketing man from Company Cash comes calling it's gonna be pretty tricky to refuse huge wheelbarrows full of readies for a few hours work. Well, it seems that the ultimate anti-establishment anarchist himself is not immune to the greenback...Yes The Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten has cashed in his soul cheque and is now advertising BUTTER!!! He's a 'Nutter for the Butter' apparently...Ah well NEVER MIND THE BULLOCKS
Here's some more money hungry celebs cashing in...mainly in Japan:
Can you believe this man has a position in American politics...oh hold on of course i can. Arnie in an advert for an Energy drink...
Don't know if this is a pisstake or not:
And finally Hulk Hogan gives us a taste of the kind of sound that exists in George Dubya's head:
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Dave Mac appeared at work today looking quite dapper with a new haircut but i could help shaking a certain character out of my head...
Dave Mac displaying the kind of expression usually reserved for a birthing elephant...
Could it be Snooker legend Ray Reardon...
I know who it is!!!!!!! It's Eddie Munster: Here's an exclusive pic of Dave Mac with the Official 'Dave Mac Action Doll'. It comes with its very own cord you just pull it and it meanders through a series of crazy facts and one liners...only problem is you can't turn it off!!!!!!!!
EXTRA FEATURES INCLUDE MINI PACKET OF CHEESE & ONION TAYTOS AND A SPECIAL MINI TOMATO SANDWICH...IN THE SHOPS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 06, 2008
Sacha Baren Cohen aka Ali G aka Borat is back with his other alter ego Bruno. Bruno is a gay Austrian Fashion TV Presenter...And like his previous characters Cohen shows he has steel balls when it comes to showing up people's prejudices...and especially when it comes to gun-toting rednecks. He is currently filming for his latest movie - ‘Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Male’, due out in May 2009.
Here's a taster -
The story with this one is that 'Bruno' had to do a runner after Daniel the Redneck doesn't take kindly to comments about his 'poopenshaft' -
Thursday, October 02, 2008
This is where it all began...McDonald's very first TV Commercial with the debut of Ronald who looks like he smells of Gin and woke up in a wheelie-bin...
WARNING!!!! THERE IS A GRATUITOUS BALL-BAG SHOT IN THIS CLIP. CAN I JUST POINT OUT AT THIS STAGE THAT THE PIG HAS A PAIR OF MANBAGS ON HIM THAT LOOK LIKE BOWLING BALLS SWINGING IN A FOOTBALL SOCK...HENCE THE ANGRY FRUSTRATION, I THINK MISS PIGGY MIGHT NEED TO GIVE HIM A VISIT!!
NIALL BREAKS TOE ON THE SHOW!!!!
Niall Breslin from The Blizzards was on the show today and managed to drop an Iron on his toe while we were talking to him...OUCH!!! Is that a radio first!!???? Hear the interview in full again on Satuday morning on The Best of The Rooster between 10am and 12pm.
Also today we had a new segment called CARRY ON REGARDLESS about people who continue to do whatever they are doing even if their head has fallen off...Here's a few examples of some real troopers:
Imagine working with these people??
MOOOOVVVVVVEEEEE!!! She's about to blooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! God works in mysterious ways and personally i think this is Karma...
Well they say it's the hardest job in the world...and this is why. Obviously a member of the audience isn't a fan of theis Stand-Up and makes his feelings known. BEWARE THIS CLIP CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!
It's the Late Late Show in LEGO. It must have taken ages to film this and really displays the qualities and charisma Pat Kenny has as a Presenter. Go on the Plank...Lego Style!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
This is THE SCRIPT:
The Script...Decent Band?? Definitely handy but did you know they used to be called MYTOWN. Formed back in 1996, they were a boyband in the same vein as 911 or The Fudgepipe Five. However great worldwide success was to evade them and they disappeared into the showbiz smoke like so many other acts...Remember Upside Down ...Jesus i remember even seeing a documentary on those gimps...im sure they're still gigging in some takeaway in Northern England somewhere...Lead singer Danny and guitarist Marc appear in the video below for their biggest hit "Party All Night" which they clearly did. As you can see Marc is now as bald as a baby's arse but once had a shock of blond hair:
Marc on the far left (with hair) and Danny second from right
Not ones to shy from the tough line of questioning usually associated with Boybands..you know; Who's the gay one? Which one of ye can't read? These lads remained true to their mantra, "We're a fun band but at the same time we have a lot of depth," Just check out the video for Party All Night. Deep.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Ever taken a "sickie" and posted pics of yourself downing a yard of ale, wearing a pair of arseless denim dungarees and dancing on a table to AC/DC Thunderstruck, doing your best Angus impression...well beware because Bosses are checking your social networking sites for what their employees are getting up to...My advice: Just don't accept as "friends" unless of course they disguise themselves with a username like "Hornmasterfucknutbigboobseasylay75" and that attracts you to their page...otherwise BE WIDE MY FRIENDS!!!
And here's an example of someone not paying atention. It's John McCain, a very scary prospect for the next President of the US and feasibly the person to Nuke us all into f*ckin oblivion...well it turns out that he is also a really shite liar...He was supposed to go on The Dave Letterman Show the other night and called at the last minute to cancel ...saying "Dave i'm so sorry can't go on tonight but i'm actually on route to Washington to save this country from collapse" Okay a pretty good excuse, not as valid as, "i may have to get my arse surgically removed from the bowl after a night of powerhosing," but good enough.
What follows is absolute GENIUS. Letterman was furious and spent the night discussing McCain's untimely cancellation. He then proceeded to show McCain appearing LIVE at the SAME TIME on a rival channel.
Take a few minutes and check this out. Lesson to learn from this...If you're gonna lie McCain, make it a good one. Muppet.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
HAVING PROBLEMS WITH A WORK COLLEAGUE?
OR SOMEONE YOU WORK WITH NEEDS TO HAVE THEIR BEHAVIOUR NOTED... Ever had an issue with someone at work cuting their toenails on the desk... an office colleague that insists on wearing no pants for a meeting with important clients...or they just smell like Amy Winehouse's jocks after a three day bender hanging out in Pete Doherty's wheelie bin...HERE'S YOUR SOLUTION:
It's a website called nicecritic and allows you to send some anonymous comments to a fellow worker you can't talk to face to face. It's very American so it has phrases like "I think a mint might be beneficial today" rather than "C'mere biy your mouth smells like a dead man's fart"
Personally i think the best way to deal with these things is to face someone down and tell them straight...they will take action or they'll spiral into some depression and return to work wielding a machine gun...so approach with a friendly but cautionary manner.
David Blaine is hanging upside down in Central Park for 60 hours straight. Modern day Magical Messiah or Twat? You decide.
This is part of a viral marketing campaign by a catering company. I think it's genius and beats a drumming f*ckin ape anyday...HERE'S LITTLE GORDON:
Lord i forgot about this travesty...Back in 1996 when a linedancing craze took over the UK this went to number 1...It's the cast of Emmerdale with Hillbilly Rock, Hillbilly Roll...
Nice hair lads...At least they were better with the guitar than the crimpers
Having Air Guitared *assumes wide leg stance* and plucked the strings to these masters of rock i was surprised to see that Led Zeppelin could be on the lookout for a new lead singer if Robert Plant doesn't join the rest of the band on a reunion tour...
"LED ZEPPELIN frontman ROBERT PLANT is to be given an ultimatum by his bandmates – join us on tour or we’ll replace you.
Zep guitarist JIMMY PAGE, bassist JOHN PAUL JONES and drummer JASON BONHAM have been busy recently rehearsing in West London’s Ritz Studio and using stand-in vocalists.
And one American singer has been so impressive the other band members are confident they could hit the road next year WITHOUT their iconic frontman"
Obviously i was shocked at this news but my brow sweats no longer as i have found the PERFECT replacement for Plant's haunting high notes...Her name is 'Wing' and after making several appearances on South Park i think she is the only person capable of filling rock's biggest shoes...
And here's why, check out Wing's interpretation of classic acts fromThe Beatles to Abba. My personal favourite however is her take on the classic AC/DC headbanger Back in Black:
Mr Cowell and his moobs...and this picture i took of hulkster in a shop over the weekend...freaky!!!
Is this the greatest X-Factor audition ever???
Friday, September 19, 2008
We had this man on the show today -
He is of course Hollywood superstar Aidan Quinn...He has acted in some highly acclaimed roles in movies like Legends of the Fall, Desperately Seeking Susan, Benny & Joon, Song for a Raggy Boy and of course Michael Collins to name a handful. He spoke about working with Johnny Depp and other legends like Anthony Hopkins. He's a really sound bloke and relishes his trips back to his roots in Ireland. He is currently filming a new Conor McPherson flick called Eclipse down in our very own Cobh. He told us about a couple of headers who tried to start a fight on set...i think they thought it was a Steven Seagal vehicle!! So if you're floating around there over the weekend say hello!! If you missed his interview today...fear not as it will appear on the Best of The Rooster tomorrow morning between 10am and 12pm.
Have a class weekend and see you on Monday...from 6am...GO WELL!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
HIP-OP HURRAY HO!!!! Fred was out to impress the ladies after using the new Gym for oldies...
We were talking about this today. Listen closely to the clip and you can hear what sounds like a rusty hip popping in the background:
It's a 'Pensioners Playground' which has been opened on an Isle in Scotland!! It has a load of equipment including a skiing machine, space walker, body twister, a chest press, a leg press and a pull-down exerciser. In a couple of years they'll have all the Grannies and Grandads showing off their six packs and flexing their triceps in the queue for the bus...although they probably won't have an issue with any young hoods pushing to the front...
Well it reminded me of this...It's Supergran One of my fave shows as a kid and can you believe the theme song was provided by the Big Yin himself Billy Connolly...Class:
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
WELL DONE TO JANICE FROM INNISHANNON WHO WON €400 ON CELEBRITY SWEARJAR TODAY - IT WAS GUY RITCHIE!YER GETTING TOO GOOD AT THIS METHINKS...I THINK THE NEXT ONE IS GONNA BE CELEBS FROM THE MIDDLE AGES!!
Here's the ROOSTER RECORD OF THE WEEK -
It's from a Corkonian called Brian Deady...Hope ye like it...Kinda like a southern Sam Sparro:
KC got sent a very saucy pic by accident from Billy in the band Aslan (random!!) You can see the picture on his Blog...it's quite shocking but not as filthy as this pic i once got of my my ex's beaver
Monday, September 15, 2008
BUSTED...EXCLUSIVE IN THE IRISH DAILY MIRROR TODAY...YES IT'S TRUE I HAVE TO REPEAT MY SENIOR INFANTS JUNIOR JUNIOR CERT AGAIN!!!THE PRESS HAVE BEEN HARASSING ME FOR DAYS... SOMETHIN' FOR DA LAYDEEZ...IT'S ME AND MY LITTLE ASS I'VE BEEN GROWING MY HAIR AGAIN RECENTLY BUT STILL NOT SURE WHETHER TO KEEP IT OR GET A CUT...OOOOOHH, I HATE DILEMMAS... ...I'M DEFINITELY KEEPING THE MOUSTACHE
And it's all due to the LHC, no that isn't a Large Hairy Crack (EARTHQUAKE!!) God yer minds!!!...it is infact the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER which unless you've been hiding out in a cave with Osama Bin McLaden in the hills of Kerry, you will know from all the rampant press coverage that this is a form of Scientific experimentation to recreate the start of the Universe. The Big Bang experiment will see some lads with messy grey hair and white coats with pens in the pockets sending atoms smashing into each other to create some black holes...It cost €5 Billion to build the tunnel for these Science boffs to play God in...why didn't they just enter Robot Wars and keep the change...I'm about as scientific as a newt so i will leave it to these geeks to explain exactly what is taking place through the medium of rap...Check out my molecules..i gots the atoms all up in this sheeeet...Recognize
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
I've seen some strange sights in Cork over the years, but apart from the crazed man in his underpants running through Pana or the bloke dressed as a large sandwich...oh and the guy who once dived to pop me one while i was holding a pot of tea in Paul Street (long story i'll tell it someday...he had a really big scary beard and probably ate raw meat) BUT...this was one of the weirdest...I was walking past Patrick's Bridge over the weekend when i heard a spitting sound and thought someone was spraying water so i turned around..like "what the fu..." then looked into the water and this massive black head emerges...IT WAS A SEAL!!!
NO!! NO!! Not the washed up soul singer famous for kissing roses and married to Heidi Klum...it was this slippery rascal below... Only had the phone with me so quality isn't the best but you can see Derek's head...(yeah it's defo Derek)...I've been told it's quite a common sight and if the weather continues we'll soon see them getting on the bus and driving..."Boss, sorry i'm late...this bollox of a seal just feckin cut me up at the traffic lights" Behind the Red Headquarters this morning. Grab your surfboard. The calm after the storm. In the afternoon the river abated but left loads of debris like logs and rocks!!!
What i'm going to be taking to work from now on!!
Friday, September 05, 2008
Had a show dedicated to the 'King of Voice' today. If you've ever packed yourself off to the flicks (pockets full of sweets you purchased in the shop around the corner...or if you're me possibly a burger or pizza slice!) then you will most definitely recognise the gravelled tones of Hollywood's hardest working actor...In his prime they reckon that he was doing 60 voice-overs a day jetting from job to job in a chaffeur driven limousine so he wouldn't waste time parking! With over 350,000 commercials and about 5,000 movie trailers under his belt. Your ears knows who he is...but here's some brill clips to jog the memory...RIP Dan LaFontaine:
Here's a fantastic sketch that he did with some of the biggest voices in Hollywood:
And it wouldn't be the same if there wasn't any FRIDAY FUNNIES:
SWEARJAR BACK ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Some bits we were talking about on the show today:
Please DO NOT try this at home...unless you actually are a fish:
Lily Allen makes a dick out of herself...Drink problem?? What could possibly give you that idea! Like a smashed Uncle at a wedding dancing to YMCA get ready to put your cringe face on..."Oh no Uncle Dave don't take off your ...oh God he has" Oh, Lily you make me smile:
And to celebrate the news that a Facebook movie is on the cards - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7585632.stm here is an interview with Mr Facebook, uber geek Mark Zuckerberg, who Forbes magazine described as "the youngest billionaire on earth and possibly the youngest self-made billionaire ever," with an estimated net worth of $3 billion. He is only 24.And with a personal wealth that could single handedly drag this country out of recession, he says that he sleeps in a one bedroom flat on a mattress on the floor. Ah just fuck off.
Here's the man who loves to poke:
Monday, September 01, 2008
Had a mashed up Bible session the other night...things just went off when DJ Pastor Pat and MC Second Coming livened up proceedings with some wicked old skool Drum & Bass...Recognize: