WHAT A LEGEND!

Rooster listener Gavin with his visor


I got to get one of these for me Micra!!

We have to raise €5,000 before Friday for Barnardo's Children's Charity in Cork. I think we can really do this. Rooster heads have proven in the past how fantastic ye are and at least my irregular bowel movements over the coming days will not have been in vain.

We have set-up an account at A.I.B. on Patrick Street and if you can throw in a couple of Euro on your lunch break or whenever it would be incredible.

Account number: 36706396 Sort Code: 93-42-83

And thanks a million

Today we also had Graffitti Artist Finbarr A.K.A. DAC and his spray partner in crime FARK FK. To see some of their incredible work check out their website


Finbarr deep into the creative process. He had less than an hour to create a spray paint portrait that was unique to the city of Cork. We asked listeners to text in all things Cork, from potato pies, to Sean Og, through to pints of Murphy's and the Shandon Bells.

And the result. *drum roll*


We have the Shandon Bells, Father Mathew, Blarney Castle (i may have nudged him on that one ;-) and finally a pint of Murphy's. I think it's absolutely feckin brilliant. Well done to Damien Leary from Douglas who gets to take home this unique piece of original art.

And here's a piece i got myself! It's a brand new character by FARK. SWEET.



Me (looking somewhat like a disgruntled Mexican Simon Cowell :-/ ) FARK FK, Rachel from Fat Face and finally Finbarr (DAC) with his masterpiece.

"Whatya mean the f*ckin immersion is on!"


Des politely requests that i do the warm up

My first day back after a few days off and already i am shoulder deep in it!! I was already distraught in the knowledge that me being off the show last week may have inadvertently led to the premature demise of The King of Pop. I came to this conclusion because a previous break cost Joe Dolan his life although that was over Xmas so i can be forgiven. If you were listening to the show this morning you would have heard me accept a challenge...The challenge is to warm-up for Des Bishop at Live at The Marquee on Friday night...Now, i remember waking up in a wheelie-bin once with a leaf of lettuce as a toupe, and people pointed and laughed, but this is different i have to make them laugh WITH me not AT me, although a healthy dose of both may just get me through, and if that fails surely some inventive horse-themed shadow puppetry will go down a treat. The goal is to raise over €5,000 for a local charity between now and Friday. We will have more details for you tomorrow but if me making a ghowl out of myself can raise some cash for a brilliant cause i'm well up for it :-)

Now, time for Yoga breathing exercises ......*clench* *release* *clench* annnndddd relax *parp* whoooooopps :-S

I might be warming up for Des Bishop but i think it's Beth Ditto that needs the support...

The was a story in the papers recently about a divebombing Blackbird that has been attacking passersby in San Francisco. Apparently, she is protecting her nest, situated on top of the building canopy. I heard that she is being pursued by Hollywood Celebs to keep the Paps away:



That then reminded me of the GREATEST bird story i have ever witnessed. Sam the seagull was a little Scottish feathered tea-leaf who spent every morning strollinginto his local newsagents and pinching a packet of Tangy Cheese Doritos...GENIUS:



HOLY CRAP THE STIG IS REVEALED:


...to be honest i was more shocked at Jeremy Clarkson's illuminous orage shirt...he looks like a f*cking traffic light!

OBAMA MIYAGI
There really is no flies on this President:


Which reminded me of:



Also on the show today. Ever lost your luggage? I have and it is a ballbag bollox situation of Beth Ditto proportions. There is a lady who felt so sorry for victims of bag loss that she setup a website to help. She is the "Suitcase Saviour":

www.isthisyourluggage.com

MUST WATCH TV TONIGHT
BRITAIN'S YOUNGEST BRIDES 8pm TONIGHT ON TV3

It features a travelling family from Ireland living in the UK and are determined to make Catrina the Bride stand out on her big day. I think they acheived that by making the dress weigh 20 stone and the circumference of ring of Saturn. She can't even get INTO the limo :-S

CLICK HERE FOR A PREVIEW

D'OH!

NOw we spoke about this plank yesterday but i never saw the dude who did the tattoo. Watch this and ask yourself...how did he NOT tattoo her whole feckin head!?

CLUE FOR THE WORD...


Geddit???? ;-) If you do it will win you over €1,000 EVERYDAY 7.05am and 8.05am just dial 1890 773336 when you hear the cue to call...GOOD LUCK!

In other news...i know he has been playing the same character for the past ten years, i think they call it O.W.S. (Owen Wilson Syndrome...can be crippling but won't affect your bank account) but i still find Blackie quite entertaining. This is him on Letterman last night...what i love about this clip is how the band just lead it smoooove....RAWK!!



Did you know that JB made his debut in an ATARI ADVERT...when he was 13!! Check it out:

..If you thought Harvey Norman was as mad as a barrell of fidgety arse beetles, then check out Crazy Gideon. He once bought an album by Scouting for Girls...he must be f*cking insane!

UP DA REBELS!

Well done to Cork Footballers for getting to the Munster Final. Beating the auld enemy is always good and i bet there was much Goochy handbags swinging at the end by the Kerry boys...

Apart from the TV3 commentary team looking like they were extras from Airwolf with the helicopter headpieces, one thing that caught my eye was Darragh O Se...Is it me or is he the bulb off Mad Tom from Father Ted???!!!


Mad Tom from Father Ted..."Me dog bit me fadder, dusint it look like a face?"

Darragh O Se

Tomorrow we have the founder of the Cloud Appreciation Society and we are talking about Female Bodybuilding...or Brickshithouse Birds as they techinically refer to it


A Dancing cloud..."Night Fever, night fevveeeerrrrrrrrr"

Wossy gets more than he candle handle..."It feels loike a bag of wocks"

So, i had a few days off and am now back in the saddle. Gotta say that Bed is so underrated and oooh i had a lie-in on Wednesday until ...hold on....nearly HALF NINE!! I know i'm a crazy Mofo but i like living dangerously...last week i abseiled down the skirting board...and the skiing in the kitchen...MAD. The big news of course has been about a particularly greasy individual who has become the most expensive footballer in the world with a deal worth nearly €100m. As far as i'm concerned that's f*cking sick money no-one is worth that but obviously Alex Ferguson is not going to say NO. Apparently, Ronaldo celebrated this cash windfall with a night in Paris Hilton. I think a date at the Clinic has been confirmed for Christiano, although i'd say he has engaged in some horizontal jogging with some ropey ladies. I say this because i remember reading a piece in the News of the World once and the hooker that said she slept with him looked like Gerry Ryan...GRIM :-(



Now, Paris Hilton can probably suck a golf ball through a silly straw but i don't see the attraction. Braindead, and over exposed i can't help thinking that she is the bulb off Rodney from Only Fools & Horses..."Oi, Ronaldo you PLONNNKKKKKEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!"



She's obviously taking eating tips from him aswell...

HAPPY MONDAYS

Great band ... Shit day

That could all change once you've watched these videos, i hope they will put a :-) on your face!

From the man who brought you The Apprentice mash-up. Here is a reminder if you missed it:



First time i heard that i nearly collapsed...although thta was probably the Lamb Biryani i reheated in the microwave, but let's face it - if a funny clip fills your pants you are onto a winner. So, here is the genius who made The Apprentice mash up at it again with some other famous peeps. This must have taken years off his life. We salute you cassette boy. GENIUS:

First up Jeremy Clarkson, the chino wearing slack jawed loudmouth from Top Gear:



The Streets (memba him...yeah, he is kinda shit now) is his own biggest critic:



And finally. This one comes with a WARNING. "X-Rated Harry Potter re-edit. Not safe for work, children or people who believe in wizards." SO THERE YOU GO. But, it's very funny:

POLE DANCING

Well it's that time of the year when we will all (well those of us old enough to skulk pints legally...no, gatting in a ditch at 14 doesn't count...i mean the manchild ripe old age of 18) be heading to the Poles with our erect....sorry *coughs* election ballots and casting our democratic right to vote. So, to celebrate the eventual pulling down of the posters that have blighted our landscape for the past few weeks. Jesus, i feel like a guest in a dodgy stately home or castle staying in a room with a ropey portrait with moving eyes watching my every writhing naked carefree ...(whoa, sorry about that) move... Anywho, if anything i'll be glad to see the back of their fat heads staring at me every shagging day!!! (and relax....penguins in dungarees) ...aaaahhhhh that's better. So, here is my rundown of some of the best posters about:


Obviously one of my faves, and spotted in my own backyard of Blarney. It's FF with EffOff and their one finger salute, which is the first honest thing they have done in the last decade.


FG get the star treatment. Looking more like the Sergeant Pepper's album cover, Mr. McAdams does possess some rather fetching eyebrows.


A tad ironic!


Bert becames the first politician to openly admit to having a fist up his behind.


Hold on is that Kian from Westlife??!! *rubs eyes* "We need change now" yeah you do, it looks like he is trying to escape from the poster.


Rolling up on the campaign trail.

And my own personal choice...

No caption required.


And, if you do meet this man today he is not part of any legally elected party so just beware. Or just vote for him ye might as well, there's fuck all else to choose from.

And finally...

WHOOPS!!

I put in the wrong video yesterday *beats back with knotty stick* Here is the "Human Slinky" on stage for Aussies Got Talent Too Ye Flamin' Gallah and the live birth!

CHEESUS CHRIST LOOK AT THIS!

It seems that even the credit crunch has hit heaven. If you didn't hear, the "Second Coming" took place recently when the Son of God appeared in a packet of Cheeto snacks in the US:



I know Neighbours is shite and Home and Away is a bit dodge, but Australia really does have talent...The Doctor is always telling m,e to check down under, so i did, and i found this...It's a human slinky...and a live birth..GENIUS:

P.S. I bet he gets down the stairs quick


And finally, something cute. Yeah, i know you all think i have a black heart but i don't...Darth Vader is a second cousin, it's these tight jeans, i mean genes are to blame. This is a little baby Anteater. He looks like he is wearing a spandex onesy or a pair of Dungarees! Smile ye heartless b*stards!

RED GOT CHILLED OUT FECKER!

The Red Rooster had the pleasure of having this man on the show this morning. He didn't have a cigarette poking out of his nostril (although we never asked...hmm) It is the legend that is Chad Smith, skin man with the Red Hot Chili Peppers and a sticks supremo. After the disastrous interview a couple of weeks ago with Jimmy "Fucknut" Flo-Rida, who couldn't even muster up a full sentence this was an absolute pleasure. It was actually difficult to get a word in! This guy has every right to be a prick. 20 years at the top in one of the biggest bands in the world and with enough cash to fill a mattress factory but i suppose if you're cool...you're cool, money and fame don't change that...but if you're a dick it enhances it. So, what i'm saying is Chad Smith is what they call "pure daycent biy" around these parts. If you missed this mornings special then don't miss the FULL UNEDITED and EXPLICIT interview on Transmission from 7pm Friday night.
And the edited version will be on-air again in the Best Of... show on saturday morning between 10am and 12pm.

And if you can't catch either of them check out this fantastic interview with a slightly frazzled Chad talking about his "shaved potatoes" ENJOY:



And the Chillis favourite gig?? Where else but Slane 2003:



Don't miss Chad and his new incarnation as Drummer with supergroup Chickenfoot playing at the Marquee on June 23rd. Keep listening as we will be giving more tickets away on the show. Either way, don your denim and get those air guitars out cos it will be flammable! *RAWK* :-P

BRUNO TEABAGS EMINEM -
IT'S THE REAR SLIM SHADY!




And if that wasn't weird enough for you, check this out. It's called MY MONKEY BABY and is on Channel 4 tonight at 10pm. It's about people who substitute monkeys for children. My Monkey Baby looks at couples who raise monkeys, who are spoilt rotten: they have their own bedrooms; the latest toys and games; a seat at the dinner table and in the car; wardrobes full of designer clothes; and even make-up. And in the park their "primate parents" push their monkeys in prams to play on the swings and slides. To Lori and Jim Johnson, Jessica Marie is far more than a Capuchin monkey. "If I hear anyone call her a monkey I throw a fit," says dad Jim, "She's my daughter, 100 per cent". For Lori, having a "monkid" seemed the perfect answer to her needs: "I knew exactly what I was going to do, she was going to be a baby I was going to have forever." JESUS LORD.

Here is a clip from tonight's show.

WARNING: Contains disturbing rednecks.


MONKEY BABY CLIP