TIGER IN THE ROUGH!

Tiger Woods drove into a tree (irony?) after an alleged argument with his wife over another lady. Here is his statement. The Sun are saying that his wife "Elin was said to have flown into a blind rage following a row over claims in a magazine that Tiger had an affair with a stunning New York party girl." Speculation is mounting that he had infact already met this mistress many years ago, and i have the proof:


Nice pants... :-S

He has been pretty OPEN with his other lovers in the past.


"Ooh, easy tiger" "Shut up...RAARRRRRRRR"

Speculation is rife that after she imposed a sex ban on him he just flew into the arms of a pretty nightclub hostess due to frustration. Just check out his right arm mid ban...FREAKY:


Tiger Woods now sponsored by spinach.

This week i have been mostly feeling sick :-(
Things seem to have taken on a Biblical theme of late. Cork got hit by the floods, then the Rooster gets hit with a double plague, knocking out myself and the Tall Guy. I am just waiting for the millions of locusts that are surely bound for the studio!

But, before we get swept away by the wrath of God, i have a big favurrrrr to ask :-) The Red Rooster has been nominated by Entertainment.ie in their Annual Awards. We are up for Best Breakfast Show and KC id up for Sexiest Radio Voice! If anything we have to kick start KC's career working on saucy phone lines...not a day goes by when he doesn't yearn for those day.

Please go here - http://entertainment.ie/pages/annualawards/default.asp

And PLEASE VOTE as many times as you want!

THE MUPPETS ARE BACK!!



SOME CLASSIC COMEDY FROM A GENIUS. Okay, he wears high heels and make-up. That i can dig, there's nothing wrong with an aul blast of blusher...i just have to draw the line at spikey shoes although they would give me a few extra inches...mmmmmmmm.


PLUS CHECK OUT THE LATEST INSTALLMENT FROM ARANMAN. THIS WEEKS FEATURES PAT BUTCHER, COATIGANS, CLOCKWORK ORANGE, JEDWARD, BLATHNAID NI CHOIFAIGH AND LOADS OF HAIRY HANDS...AAAARRGGGHHHHHHHHH

ARANMAN:YOUR FOOTBALLING PHILANTHROPIST

WATER NIGHTMARE

Some people are making the best of the floods. Only in Cork would you find a feen who decides to get his skimboard out and catch some waves. Check out this street surfer who took advantage of the wet conditions on Western Road by Pres, the Maradyke by Tyndell, and Outside the Mercy.



D.O.B. AT THE MARQUEE
Dara O'Briain, the man who once drove from Donegal to Dublin to play in front of six people will be bringing his hugely successfull stand up show to 'Live at The Marquee' next year. Here he is on form at the Theatre Royal in London. Cork gets a mention but not for all the right reasons!




If you thought Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was good then check this out:

WET & WILD!!!


Here is a photo i took before 6am as i drove around Cork trying to get from Blarney to Bishopstown for the show. Sunday's Well was closed off and that is my usual journey. Then headed in towards the North Quay which was blocked off, so i drove around for a peek and saw these kegs floating around outside The Raven pub on South Main Street. Last time i checked there was a load of students with rolled up jeans trying to paddle after the beer!


North Quay water...I thought Bruce Lee was fast but nothing compared to his river!


A not so Grand Parade :-S


Well, the ducks had plenty of places to shop and land.


Near the Mercy Hospital, look closely and you will see Breffny from The Apprentice getting in some rowing practice. "Jesus, in my brain this is amazing like, i can go anywhere i like, like."


Did anyone spot this fella on Pana?

"I cannot speak, I am so angry. It is a bitter evening, we played a great game"

- Giovanni Trapattoni

LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE...

It's that time of year (well a little early, but it's "inside my brain just trying to get out" to quote The Breffmeister so i am letting my mind barf on this page....can't hold it in) when all eyes will be on the charts to see if X-Factor once again will ambush the Christmas No.1. They have devoured the top spot for years but this year they could have a real battle on their hands. The Pope and wibbly wobbly wobbleboard wizard Rolf Harris are both releasing singles to exorcise the charts of Simon Cowell's next Stooge. Bennny is releasing an album AND it's Produced by our very own GREG & SHANE. Check this out:


RedFM's Sonic Doctors Greg & Shane



I hear that the album is being distributed by Geffen records. They are the same crowd who looked after Nirvana and Guns & Roses. I've not seen the track listing but i'm thinking...'Smells like the Holy Spirit' or even 'Appetite for Resurrection'?? Just a thought...a heavenly one mind.

And here's a clip of Rolf's attempt...for a guy who used to get his kicks tying Kangaroos down, he's got away with a lot...

DON'T MISS THIS!

'James May's Toy Stories' is back on BBC2 tonight. If you were ever a fan on little sports cars with needles attached to a track that would usually be in your bedroom, but sometimes ventured into your living room, and caused your Mammy to scream, "Will you ever put that bloody thing away!" then tonight is a MUST SEE. He is attempting to build the world's longest Scalextric track. It will be alsmost 3 miles long, comprise of no less than 20,000 different sections, will have to go through people's gardens, over ponds and rivers and even negotiate a business park. Brilliant.

Here's a very exciting advert to get you in the mood. I wonder if this guy is still singing in a rock band or if this was his only chance to RAWK!! Imagine the conversation, "Oh yeah, i was a rocker once, amazing man...i'm telling ye karazy sheeeeet"



And in keeping with the theme, here's a brilliant advert featuring a tiny Lewis Hamilton:



And when you get a chance PLEASE check out this brand new cook book by Whitechurch native Aedin Johnston. She has put together a book jampacked with the favourite recipes of Irish celebrities, like Sean Og, Brian Corcoran, Pat Falvey, Joe Duffy, and of course myself and the Tall Guy. Okay, i said celebrities...tough crowd...phew. Well, don't let that put you off!

JUST CLICK ON THE PIC:

"HE'S GOT A PINEAPPLE ON HIS HEAD!!"



It was once the chant for Nottingham Forest Striker Jason Lee. Started by Baddiel & Skinner apparently it nearly ruined his career because he couldn't see the funny side. Tool. Anywho, it's been stolen by a certain Scottish dance music maestro by the name of Calvin Harris. Apparently he had been planning it on his twitter. Channeling that stage jumper extraordinaire, Kanye West, he jumped up in the middle of Jedward's performance on X-Factor, complete with the spikey fruit balanced on his head.

Even more hilarious than the pineapple moment is Edward's stumble at the start. Had to rewind about ten times....awww tears. Plus, the fact the he gets a huge piece of the paper stuck to his foot and it stays for the entire performance:



Love Golf? Have boobs? This could be the greatest invention ever. You'll find it hard to PUTT this away...*coughs* sorry :-S



DON'T FORGET...we have the latest evictee from The Apprentice on tomorrow morning. The rumours floating around at the moment say that it could be THE BREFFMEISTER!! ...Don't miss tomorrow after 9am, and if it is the Breffer then he will surelay have a career as Rebel Superhero ahead of him...his marketing is obviously preceeding him. I was up in Dublin over the weekend and he's ALREADY had a street named after him:

FAINT OR NO FAINT?

Keith Barry performs his most audacious and dangerous trick yet by transforming into Noel Edmonds live on TV! Yes, Mr Barry, the self styled 'Mentalist' is fronting the brand new Irish version of Guessy, Guessy, Boxey, Boxey...or Deal or No Deal. Starts tonight on TV3. Here is a classic from the original...this lady fainted and had to be treated by Paramedics..(I reckon she was overwhelmed by Edmond's aftershave...Hai Karate i believe):



Cowen does Dunphy. An Taioseach is optomistic about Ireland's chances against France. I can't remember what he said i fell asleep half way....zzzzzzzzzzzz




...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

NEVERMIND THAT JOWEL HEAD LET'S PUT 'EM UNDER PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



COME ON IRELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE CHECK OUT THE LATEST INSTALMENT OF ARANMAN - YOUR FOOTBALLING PHILANTHROPIST ... THIS WEEK FEATURES MIRIAM O CALLAGHAN'S BRA, MEGAN FOX, JOHNNY GILES' SCHOOL REPORT AND BERTIE AHERN'S ALBUM!!!!!!!

Steven Tyler has left Aerosmith...maybe it's a stage he's going through :-S

BRITNEY MIME SHOCKER!!

I know, it's crazy but punters in Oz are dismayed and angry that she mimed at a recent gig. READ ABOUT IT HERE
Now, a government official wants a warning on all tickets to say if an act is going to mime, she didn't mention whether it required the notice to contain advice like "The act you are about to see is shit." But, hey look on the brightside Australia, look what you saved yourselves from:



And, if you listen closely here, you'll see how she still has time to worry about her pet cat being left out....oooh it's chilly outside:



PLANKETY PLANK

Pat's "pontificating" varnish is scorched by a member of the audience in his show, 'Frontline' last night. A dude looking a little like a rough Daniel O Donnell impersonator let rip at the Plank. As Bob Marley would say, "GET UP, STAND UP, STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS," Fair play to that guy. Legend.




And, don't miss this. It's on the BBC tonight.

Derek Acorah tries to contact Michael Jackson...hasn't he ever heard of email? Wacko may have been Off The Wall...but i think this proves Acorah is Off his head!

Now this took place in Ballinacurra House in Kinsale. If you're looking to contact the 'King of Pop' from beyond the musical grave where else but the Rebel County..."C'mere, i heard there's a scouser fellah there looking for Michael Jackson, is he still fitting tyres ...left at the roundabout biy." Now it's pretty appropriate that this show is presented by zombiefied June Sarpong.


Now, at about 1:40 secs into this check out how inappropriate David Gest's comment is to the presenter. Clearly, being dressed like a 15 year old also had him acting like a naughty schoolkid, her uncomfortable look is priceless.




Okay, here we go with the Seance. I think if Acoooorraahhhhhhh wasn't contacting spirits (vodka, whickey etc.) he'd probably be selling yardbrushes door to door:



LATEST ARANMAN EPISODE - IT FEATURES MEGAN FOX, A KIDNAPPING, AND A GAY PIGEON FORNICATING WITH A FEATHER DUSTER Aran Man - Your Footballing Philanthropist: 6th November 2009

The brilliant Bill Bailey:

DAVID & GOLIATH



This weekend, in a real life remake of Rocky IV, when the Rockster had to fight the Russian beast Ivan Drago. On Saturday, Rusian Nikolia Valuev will fight Londoner David Haye. Haye reckons he will be the first fighter ever to knock out the human tree trunk...i hope he brought his chainsaw. Valuev has won 50 of his 52 fights. Weighs 145 Kg (22 stones). Wears 18 and half shoe. And shaves with an AXE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Doesn't look too huge till you realise Haye is 6ft 2" tall!


Obviously a Cork feen on photography duties!



Ladiers love a massive personality. I think i can guess who wins the remore control wars in that house :-S


Hey, Wilkinson Sword Never mind Henry, Federer and Woods...you should axe that lot they're pussies compared to this dude!! :-S


PLUS: Rihanna speaks out about Chris Brown for first time since that infamous incident. I hope no-one buys a single copy of his new album. That man burned his bridges when his first comments were released and he did it via webcam plugging his new release. Scumbag.



Check out his first comments when he released this:

"Yeah got my new album coming out" Langer.

BOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that didn't work but this might...big thanks to Murph, RedFM's Production Manager/Overlord/Princess and also the lady at the helm of The Saturday Rooster from 8am on ...erm...Saturday...so check her out when you can...THAT'S AN ORDER (she's paying me a small fee for the plug) ;-)

Your job is to guess the RedFM D.J.'S:

CLUE: I am the Werewolf...now guess the rest!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

So, Katy Perry is presenting the MTV Europe Music Awards tonight...Apparently "The MTV European Video Music Awards, were established by MTV to celebrate the top music videos of the year" Who gives a sh*t...Here's why i hate Russell Brand...even more than usual:

OFF TO GET THE NCT ON THE AUL BUBBLE OF LOVE...



...So while i'm off fretting as some grease monkeys play underneath her bonnet please enjoy this homage to Coldplay by the comedy genius that is Jon LaJoie:

Yes, Chris Martin you are not alone.

DRUNK EWOKS RUIN BREAKFAST SHOW

I don't know which is more disturbing, a couple of Ewoks that are langers or a blacked up Han Solo :-S At about 2:20 the two Ewoks start laying into each other...i'm sure i've seen the same fellas in a scuffle on Patrick's Street last Saturday...ummmm

See more funny videos and Entertainment Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Also please check out the latest Roald Dahl and Bear Grylls inspired installment of:
Aran Man - Your Footballing Philanthropist: 30th October 2009