So all the talk was proven to be hyped up horsehit as Jay Zed took his controversial steps up on to the Glastonbury centre stage...Noel Gallagher pointed out that "I don't want hip-hop at Glastonbury. Jay-Z has got no f***ing chance."...Mr Z didn't take to kindly to those comments so decided to open his set with what can only be described as a harrowing version of Oasis' huge anthem Wonderwall...all i can say is Jay stick to the rapping dude...although i like his style fuck it his tongue is firmly in his cheek for this one

And in other news Amy Whinehouse was getting herself in trouble again...Fresh from stealing the limelight from Nelson Mandela at HIS concert..swapping the words from Jerry Dammers protest song from "Free Nelson Mandela" to "Free Blakey my Fella" Of course it is understandable that she places scumbag Blakey Civil-Servant on a pedestal with an iconic and inspirational leader of civil rights...woman get your shit together

You gotta watch to the very end...listen closely...MUPPET!!!!!!!!!!!!



Here she is swinging for a fan at Glasto...I'd love to know the words exchanged.."Amy you having the crack"...

It looks like the recent Petrol hike is even beginning to affect our Superheroes...



And check this out...We all know Shane McGowan is fond of a drop but little did we know he has the voice of an angel...

First things first...let's go to the money shot...Over 1200 Quids up for grabs in Celebrity Swear Jar
Here are some more of your incorrect guesses....

ASHLEY JUDD
TERI HATCHER
LAURA FLYNN BOYLE
JUDI DENCH
PATSY KENSIT
GOLDIE HAWN

Hope that narrows it down more for ye, remember to scroll down my BLOG for all other guesses and add to your list...We are getting very close and will have another clue for you very soon...i promise...it's serious cash at this stage and could easily pay for a top holiday to get away from this wet shite!!

NOW BE AFRAID...BE VERY AFRAID...I FOUND THIS VIDEO FROM A STORY WRITTEN BY OUR VERY OWN 'TV SHEENA' FROM ENTERTAINMENT.IE - EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE OF WINEHOUSE REHEARSING FOR GLASTONBURY

http://entertainment.ie/celebrity_gossip/Amy-Winehouse-A-Journey-Through-Planes-Impersonators-Lollipops-and-The-Id/21603.htm

Shawn Corey Carter better known as Jay-Z or as my Mum calls him 'Jay-Zed' is winging his hip-hop head down to the marquee tonight. Ive heard his backing group is unreal...superb session players so hopefully he won't just have a beatbox 3 in 1 stereo in the background like Dustin at the Eurovision or 50 Cent last year. If you're a fan and you are heading along...should be good so enjoy and take a listen to this:

This is a remix of Jay-Z's Black Album with The Beatles White Album to create the GREY ALBUM!!! Masterminded by Dangermouse from Gnarls Barkley:

Here's the mouse man sampling 99 Problems with the Beatles Helter Skelter:



Here he is using Encore from J and using the "OH Yeah" hook from Glass Onion:



And some comic relief for today, "Dya have a licence for dat vayhickle???"

Went to see the 'King of Cool' Lou Reed live at the Marquee last night. The ex-Vevet Underground man was touring his album Berlin. The elder statesman of New Yorks underground art-punk scene did not disappoint. Infact he was fuckin superb!!!! Supported by a 10 piece childrens choir, a bras section, one of the greatset drummers i have ever seen, a lead guitarist out of the Rory Gallagher school of strings and an unreal outer galactic bass player sporting a ten foot silk scarf (silk scarves can only be worn by those that have graduated to a serious level of musical genius and cool otherwise ye just look like a prick). As you can tell i loved it. I played the album before and after the gig and it is up there with Dark Side of the Moon ...Shut eye was impossible last night as i was still buzzing especially as i sneaked down to the front half way through and stayed where i was less than ten foot from Reedy...Here's a wee clip of one of his greatest tracks Satellite of Love which he did as an encore last night getting the Bassist Fernando to sing the first part...enjoy:



MEANWHILE back on earth we have €1175 to give away some more incorrect guesses on CELEBRITY SWEARJAR:

SANDRA BULLOCK
MICHELLE PFEIFFER
HOLLY HUNTER
SHERYL CROW
GENNA DAVIS
KIRSTIE ALLEY
MADONNA
SUSAN SARANDON
JULIA KAVNER
HEATHER MILLS
JANICE DICKINSON
MEG RYAN

And finally NEVER mess with the GAA!!

Welcome to Monday...*squeezes head to stop the voices* Ahhhhh that's better ...yes if you have had a good weekend then the chances are today you look and feel like a melted wellington boot. Loads of ye went to see Dolly Parton at the Marquee and said she was brilliant!! Well she is a legend i suppose but couldn't believe when Ruari from Sport (who incidentally said he WON some tickets....yeah right Roar ..you were rodeoing with the rest of em!!) said she had no support...that's hard to believe...i mean her Bra's use Nasa technology...she needs more scaffold than the County Hall...

If you did pop along on Saturday here's an exclusive clip i managed to find...Enjoy...although what the f*ck Donald Duck is doing is anyone's business!!?? :



And here's a sneak peek at Brad Pitt's latest movie...It's called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and is based on a short story by F.Scott Fitzgerald (writer of The Great Gatsby...one of my favourite novels) and is the story of a man born old and getting younger as the years go on...Looks brilliant:

Well i finally bit the bullet and got the locks shorn...The afro was getting too high maintenance and it was time the family of sparrows who had adopted my thatch as their new home had left to make their own life...I knew the hair need shearing after I am convinced i heard some Romany gypsies setting up camp at the area just above my ears. Gotta say i feel naked without my curly wig but it is literally a weight off my shoulders!! Here are some before and after shots to give ye an idea...

This was taken yesterday in the Red studio before me haircut...

BEFORE


and this is the result...i think i look much more sophisticated in the second picture..."Oh ladies I say have you seen my pocket mouse???"

AFTER


CELEB SWEARJAR NEWS - MORE WRONG GUESSES TO TICK OFF

CATE BLANCHETT
SHARON STONE
PATRICIA ARQUETTE
LINDA HAMILTON
RACHEL WEISZ
MARIAH CAREY
AMY WINEHOUSE
DARYL HANNAH
WINONA RYDER
MEG RYAN

Now get thinking - 1,125 quid up for grabs on Monday

Ok so this has been wrecking heads across Cork and beyond. 'Celebrity Swear Jar' is over a GRAND!!! Over ONE THOUSAND EUROS to be won. SWEET.

So here to help you along are some of the recurring incorrect f*cking guesses so far...

JULIA ROBERTS
MILLA JOVAVICH
WHOOPI GOLDBERG
SIENNA MILLER
KATE BECKINSALE
ALICIA KEYS
KYLIE
JENNIFER LOPEZ
KATE HUDSON
ANGELINA JOLIE
EVA MENDES
CAMERON DIAZ
FERGIE
CINDY CRAFORD
JUDI DENCH
HALLE BERRY
MADONNA
JENNIFER ANISTON
NAOMI CAMPBELL
SALMA HAYEK
KATE MOSS
TYRA BANKS
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

Tried the 'Mobile Popcorn Experiment' on this morning's show...



...found out it's part of a big viral marketing campaign...can't believe anything these days...so we have to laugh...here's a couple of brilliant vids to shake off your Monday blues:

Have you been getting the enough sleep???
Take this AWARENESS TEST TO FIND OUT!!!



TRAPPATONI REVEALS NEW SIGNINGS!!!

Also got a call yesterday from these little stars - This is Cian & Jack Roche who called into RedFM studios with sister Sophie and Mum Samantha...Hopefully we'll see these dudes up front for Ireland at some stage!!

A BIG HOLE IS NEVER WELCOME - THIS ONE IS HUNGRY!!!

Geologists in eastern Texas are keeping an eye on a 900-foot wide sinkhole that could
get bigger during the next big rain.

The gaping maw opened up last week in Dasietta, closing a road and sending out a series of ominous cracks that the U.S. Geological Survey said could be a sign further erosion is possible.

The Houston Chronicle said the sinkhole is as deep as 250 feet in some locations, but hasn't yet threatened any homes.

Liberty County officials say they plan to put a fence around the sinkhole to keep a steady stream of onlookers from getting too close.


Also in the News - Pint-sized Purple Headed Pop Pixie Prince has decided to cancel his show in Croke Park...Apparently he lost his blanky after his tour in the US causing "untold distress" according to his agent his "teddy cuddles comfort blanket" will never be replaced and "he is sorry that the gig will not go ahead". No reason has been given by the weird one and if i was a Prince fan i'd be mighty pissed off...so annoyed infact that i'd burn my frilly shirt and shave off my pencil beard in protest...So if you are a fan, this is for you. It's a Prince classic and probably one of his greatest KENE MI BY NDEDI EYANGO:


Oh sorry i meant 'PRINCE EYANGO' he's massive in Cameroon and has never been known to pull out of any gig.

"Hi hot stuff wot ye wearing??? LOL hope it's dose sexy rubber wellies" Ever sent a sexy message??? Ever wondered how embarrassing it would be if one of your friends found them and read them aloud in front of all the heads down the boozer?? Now imagine that and increase the painful cringe factor to OVERLOAD!! Here is a News Anchor off the FOX Network reading out the saucy texts sent by the Mayor of Detroit who was feeding the one eyed beast to his Chief of Staff!! Somehow the texts got leaked and this guy re-enacts them on the News...Check out how much he gets into it...I imagine he took them home after for his own amusement... Just imagine Dobbo doing this on Six One...maybe in a role play with Sharon *shudders* :-(

I know it's a pile of smelly turd but i always have a glimps..like a peak through the fence at a Naturist camp during volleyball practice...These are my lowlight and highlight of last night's BB9:

The new Charley...Septic Stephanie...a horrible aul prick if i ever saw one...love the crowd reaction:

And hopefully some saving grace...this guy is great... Michael looks a bit like Hector...brilliant attitude and looks like an early fave...The reaction of the other housemates sums up their immaturity and vapid heads "aaaaaahhhhhhhh" like he's a fuckin toddler that just fell over...he looks like he could shake things up a bit...

And don't miss this bit on the Best of the Red Rooster tomorrow morning 10am - 12pm:

Is this what Americans watch to get the REAL story on Northern Ireland...

Well you either LOVE it or HATE whatever you think it's hard to get away from it...yes i'm talking about chlamydia...oh hold on no i'm not, i'm talking about BIG BROTHER which is equally unwelcoming. This time the desperate Channel 4 has decided to throw in 16 housemates (also known as fame hungry talentless shitbags), a jail, a huge ashtray for smokers to sit in, huge bedrooms, a swimming pool, a torture rack and electric chair....(ok so i made up the last two but come on imagine if we could text in for their lives...*adopts Geordie accent* "Hellloooooowww an' wel'ome ta da Biag Bruda hoooooossseeeeeeeee text 6 and Pat if ye wanna see 'im saved from da fryer" Well it's an idea. Anywho here's some bits from last year and my favourite part of that shambles...the first moments of Charley Uchea. This inspiring and shy individual really endeared herself to the audience with a self-effacing profile of herself that resulted in one of the finest pieces of public humiliation i have ever had the pleasure of witnessing on TV. Enjoy.

And here she is again, turning up at the BB9 auditions and getting roasted by a member of the public for NOT adding her on MYSPACE..."I'm more famous than Channelle innit, i'm like in da papers every like week...innit" Cathering Tate eat your heart out. This is gold.

some more idiots to make us laugh...*looks skyward* "Thank you Lord for fucknuts"

GOOD LUCK TO ALL YOU JUNIOR AND LEAVING CERT VICTIMS...REMEMBER YOU DON'T NEED TO PASS AN EXAM TO BE SUCCESSFUL...LOOK AT GEORGE W. BUSH HE'S AS THICK AS A COW'S ARSE AND HE'S RUNNING A SUPERPOWER!!!!!

Hope it all goes well for ye whatever pans out for you but seriously don't stress...i turned up for one of my exams without a pen and look at me...on second thoughts...REVISE REVISE REVISE!!! Here are some brilliant exam answers i found on an internet forum for teachers...some of these are instant classics...comedy writers in waiting:

• Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Spices.
• The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made men think.
• Three kinds of blood vessels or the arteries, veins and caterpillars.
• To remove air from a flask, fill the flask with water, tip the water out and put the cork in quick.
• When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood, you'll get a glacier.
• It is a well-known fact that a deceased body warps the mind.
• For snake bite: Bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.
• A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
• For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
• The process of turning steam into water again is called conversation.
• Typhoid fever may be prevented by fascinations.
• The hydra gets its food by descending upon its pray and pushing it into its mouth with its testicles. (I think they meant TENTACLES!!!)
• The moon is a planet just like the earth only deader.
• The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
• An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.
• English sparrows and starlings eat the farmer's grain and soil his corpse.
• If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.
• Vegetative propagation is the precess by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.
• Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

Also we had Breeda from The Irish Guide Dogs for the Blind on the show today chatting about their fundraising Cycle to Majorca. Get more info at -

http://www.guidedogs.ie/

or call 1850 506300

Back to work......


....but it's a four day week!! WAHEY!!!!