COWELL'S GOT TALENT
She is set to become a phenomenon over in the States, has had over 20 million hits on youtube, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are already fans and according to her she has never even been kissed! I am talking about Susan Boyle, the singing sensation from the first week of Britain's Got Talent. This unassuming lady has lived with her Mum all her life and has now been catapulted into the limelight. I am a little suspicious however, not of her but of Simon Cowell, the man with the hair of a briquette knew EXACTLY what he was doing. Remember a certain movie starring Robin Williams dressing as an old Scottish woman to get closer to his kids?? NO NOT JUMANJI...Jesus...MRS DOUBTFIRE! Well Cowell saw the popularity of that and knew she would be a phenomenon.
So, she has been wheeled out for the world's media, and here are the results:
Patronising Americans Number 1
This presenter wipes her tears with a sock. Yes, a F*CKING sock!
Patronising Americans Number 2
This one goes off the cringe scale *dives behind sofa*
Now, i know Susan is a lovely woman but she reminds me of someone:
No, i think she's more like Biffa Bacon from Viz. Remember him!? Well i think his Mum is the bulb off her: