Have i told you lately that i love you...*opens arms*

Myself and the tall guy NEED YOUR HELP!

The Red Rooster has been nominated for Best Regional DJ at this year's Meteor Awards and we need YOUR REBEL VOTES to win and stuff.

All you need to do is text rdj1 to 085 7114444...

For voting you will receive not only my unconditional love and admiration but also that of JC and if you make the son of God happy then you won't go to hell...it's fuckin hot down there and not in a Nelly kind of way...SO VOTE NOW!!!!!!!!!

Thank You


Hosanna in the hiace...Jesus orders you to vote NOW!!!

Just take a look at Happy Frank after voting...


Have a cracking weekend...i'll leave you with my video of the week...just need to work out now if this is a Donkey or an ass...ummm...SMOKING!!!!

So the big news in the movie world at the moment is that Wesley Snipes is being lined up to play the Godfather of Soul, the legendary James Brown in a new biopic by acclaimed camera king Spike Lee. It's an unusual choice especially as Snipes is currently trying to fend off jail after failing to pay his taxes (although lets face it he peaked early as Nino Brown in New Jack City...if you haven't seen this movie rent it now!! Typical line: "Your ass is grass and i'm the lawnmower" Genius) So he probably needed the money. No, Lee this is your man. Eddie Murphy..Here's his audition tape:

"TOO HOT IN THE HOT-TUB!!!!!!!!"

James brown celebrity hottub
Uploaded by codordog

And in some disturbing news for anyone hoping to head off to Australia soon or has friends/relations currently residing Down Under.

Here is a WARNING. PLEASE BE AWARE OF THE GIANT CATERPILLAR:


Frightening isn't it...*shudders*

It's OFFICIAL - STEVEN SEAGAL RUNS LIKE A GIRL:



When it comes to running there's only ONE man who leaves all the rest standing:



Not impressive enough??? Jesus, you people are killing me. Here's some Shaolin Monk Kung-Fu dudes jumping on their heads...Good enough??? i should hope so *wipes brow*



Still not impressed...Tough crowd...OKAY HERE IS EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN THIS WORLD NOW!!!

http://now.sprint.com/widget/

The Flying Car has arrived...

The 23-year-old driver ploughed off the road, broke through a barrier and hit a bank at such speed that his black Skoda was propelled into the air before crash-landing on the roof of the local Lutheran church in Limbach-Oberfrohna. (someone was praying for him!!)

Police said that the bank acted like a springboard, sending the Skoda flying more than 100 ft before it was left wedged into the roof more than 20ft above the ground.

"We've never ever had a case of a car landing in a church before," said Frank Fischer (no shit Frank), a spokesman for Chemnitz police in the state of Saxony, after the accident on Sunday night.

The driver, who has not been named, suffered serious injuries. But police said they were not life-threatening. He was due to be tested for traces of alcohol.

The damage to the car, which perhaps surprisingly was not written off, was estimated by police to run to about £9,000. It was later extracted from the roof by a crane.

The cost of damage to the church is yet to be assessed.

Police said speed was a possible cause for the accident. (nothing gets past these German lads).

I'm with the theory he was just late for Mass, and when his workmates mentioned that he "was flying with his new job" he took it literally.

P.S. - The irony is not lost at Youtube Sales HQ?? They are actually advertising "Bitumen Roofing Shingles" with this clip. Presumably, after seeing this sales will go through the...ok sorry.

THIS GYM'LL FIX IT...TALKING WEIGHTS...IT'S THE FUTURE!!

WELL DONE TO OUR WIN YOUR WEDDING WINNERS SIMON AND IRENE A.K.A. HOMER & MARGE SIMPSON... (also pictured is their little legend Aoife dressed as Lisa!!)

Simon and Irene win their Wedding to the value of nearly €20,000 at the Blarney Golf Resort and Spa. All three couples had to perform tasks given to them in envelopes. Each had to get a picture taken near somethiig old (CASTLE) something new (Elysian Tower) something borrowed (picture outside ANY Credit Union) and finally something blue (picture with a member of An Garda Siochana)...Simon said that he tried to persuade his Ban Garda to give him a police escort but unfortunately couldn't twist the long arm of the law!!


ALL OUR FINALISTS THIS MORNING

BELOW ARE ALL THE FINAL PHOTOGRAPHS:



COMMISERATIONS TO OUR RUNNERS-UP:


Ann Marie Ryan and Andrew Nicholson


Ann Casey and her partner Ger Walsh

HAS THE IDENTITY OF THE INFAMOUS TOP GEAR DRIVING ANDROID BEEN REVEALED???

THE Stig has been today been revealed as racing driver and stunt-person Ben Collins.

The mystery of the masked Top Gear driver who tests out top range cars at break-neck speeds has been kept a closely kept secret - with the last Stig, Perry McCarthy, being sacked after revealing his identity in his autobiography.

It is thought that the 33-year-old accidentally let slip his alter-ego in an art shop in Bristol after trying to get a print of The Stig done.

BBC are yet to comment but an annoyed Beeb insider has been reported as saying: “You wouldn't write a piece saying that Santa didn't exist.”

"Who is the Stig?" is frequently one of the most-searched terms on the internet.

IS THIS THE STIG????




If you have ever been in a drinking establishment and heard someone inebriated and demanding the "finest wines known to humanity", don't launch from your stool like a badger with a sharp stone up his hole and pummel their face. They are probably quoting one of the funniest films of the past twenty odd years. Yes, I am talking about Withnail & I and if you have not yet had the pleasure please go rent or buy now. The reason i am talking about that movie is because the cottage famously used by the characters in the movie as a retreat is up for sale. If you have a spare €150,000 then check it out.



This place is uninhabitable' ... Richard E Grant and Paul McGann in Withnail & I.

EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE OF BARACK OBAMA'S INAUGURATION

If you look closely you'll see George Dubya with most of his colleagues wishing Obama the best:



Plus some slick footage of Obama playing Basketball...he used to play for his High School team...Jesus, imagine Brian Cowen slam dunking...there'd be so many repair bills and it would have to be a concrete playing surface :-(



BTW - the track playing is by superb rap act Dilated Peoples. If you like them order their first album The Platform it's superb. Word.

Joaquin Phoenix is mad as a brush!!!!

He has given up a glittering Hollywood career to dabble with the dark art of Hip-Hop and become a rapper. Art the same event Joaquin or "Big Daddy Quackers" as he now wants to be known was debuting his first foray into Rap with a very mumbled and bizarre freestyle. He was recently heard saying, “When I was young, I liked punk rock music, but then I discovered rap. I love the storytelling aspect of hip hop.” He has drafted in P Diddy as Producer and judging by this debut he should have called J. Christ because methinks some kind of miracle is required.
Fellow actor and brother-in-law Casey Affleck was also on the scene to film the event for his upcoming documentary about Phoenix’s foray into hip hop. Something tells me we have a new Comedy star on our hands....move over Sacha Baron-Cohen



This is him later on...it's literally a stage he is going through...WHOOPS!



One of the greatest moments in TV history...Verne ramraids BB's Diary Room door:



That video got removed. So try this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFIEcCM7NVM

Ever had the feeling your arm belongs to someone else??? I think they call it "Phantom Hand Syndrome" or something along those lines. If you get lucky this weekend or indeed you are currently sharing your leaba with a loved one, this could be the best advice you're ever likely to get:




This is one of the funniest things i have ever heard. The Iriah accent can sometimes be hard to understand and we have som many variations it is amazing!! But, i don't think ANY accent comes close to inner city Glasgow for level of difficulty when ity comes to translation.

Check out this answer machine message left by a lady who is after her money, i think she is owed 50 quid...If anything is to be learned from this ...NEVER OWE A SCOT MONEY!!!!!!

WARNING - VERY STRONG LANGUAGE

"am a gonna a tear yooo anooo arsehule sun"

SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE IMPOSTER!!!!

PRESIDENT IN THE DOG HOUSE

In his forst official job as Il Presidente Barack has to decide which type of breed he will choose for his kids as the "White House Dog". This has lead me on an investigation to prove that George W. Bush is using this to stay in the WHITE HOUSE!!!! Cue News:

"Barack Obama has whittled down his choice of "First Dog" to just two breeds. The incoming US President has admitted his first job in charge is to get a pet for his two children. The trouble is one of his daughters is allergic to fur"

Now i can't see a mutt looking like Kojak sucking on a lollipop being too appealing for phot-ops, so he has a final two to choose from ... a Labradoodle (which is a cross between a Labrador and a Poodle, not a dog that sketches) and a Portuguese Water Dog. WTF is a Portuguese Water Dog???? I hear you scream. Well, i Googled it and the Lord God Google gave me this image:


...It looks like a mouse with Terry Wogan's wig...or Ann Widdecombe, a frumpy politician from the UK...


This is an actual Portuguese Water Dog, which i think looks a bit like Sprocket, the dog from Fraggle Rock...



Sprocket from Fraggle Rock...who actually is the bulb off George W. Bush...


...so when you think about it HE NEVER REALLY LEFT THE WHITE HOUSE AT ALL!!!!!!!!!

RAINING CATS AND DOGS...(MAYBE JUST CATS)

Imagine Gerry "The Wink" Fleming being this composed when faced with a large pussy:

Something to warm the cockles...you can't beat the Yanks for serious Cheesey stories and this is enough to make you lactose intolerant...methinks that the "vigil" might be more of a guilt trip after a game of tickle me turned into a stomping

This is the Sick Test...Laugh and you FAIL!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghh7XAiB30U


Here is a clip from The Late Show with David Letterman...David recieived a letter (funnily enough) and in the letter a viewer described how he had been watching the show "upside down and hanging from the ceiling". So, in response to this Dave gives him a very special sign. Also it get us thinking how many people listen to the Rooster in really weird places. We had people in UAE listening in a Sheikh's Palace in Dubai!!! We had someone listening in a dark room in the U.S. but the winners by far were John and Caroline. John listens to the show 250 feet above Cork city!! No, he's not high as a kite but working as a Crane Operator...and Caroline get everyone wet when we called her because she was scrubbing up in the shower listening on her radio rubber duck...She did have an issue holding the phone so put the shower head between her legs...Thankfully, she juggled correctly or I thing the phone signal may have been lost...oh er missus!!

THE ULTIMATE PET ACCESSORY!!!!

Just call him "Finaldo"...looks like he could have been trained by Big Phil Scale-ari...(ok i'll stop now)This is Comet the Goldfish playing football:



He also does the Slalom!!!:

http://www.r2fishschool.com/

And if you've been watching Celeb Big Brother...is it me or is the wee Verne Troyer a proper little perve...i bet he's been hiding in the bedroom drawers cracking one off...here he is displaying some quality pick-up techniques!!!

No, it's not a Mary Harney topless shot but a HUGE baby...

A baby has been born in Orange County, California, weighing 14 pounds and two ounces (6.410 kg), double the weight of the average newborn.

Doctors said Richard Walker Sault, born two days before Christmas, was one of the biggest babies they have ever seen.

Baby Sault was delivered by caesarean section and both mother and child are said to be in good health.

However, his parents have had to exchange all his clothes for bigger sizes. (The womb must have had it's own take away and probably resembled a three bedroom semi)

Here is a clip of the "Manbaby" and the lucky parents who reckon he could have walked out of the hospital himself:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7803646.stm

And CONGRATULATIONS to a couple of loyal Rooster heads who sent this text yesterday:

"Please say hi to my beautiful gf niamh.we are on our way 2 cuh to give birth 2 our first child.steve"

Then we got this happy one today: "Hey guys.baby Naoise was born at 6.13pm yesterday.she was 7lbs12 and is beautiful.steve and niamh"

Steve came on the show this morning and told us MOther and baby are doing really well, but he refused to send us the audio...ah well ;-) WELL DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY NEW BALLBAGS
2009....Wow, well it's nearly ten past eight in the evening and what a year it's been ...

Eoghan Quigg proved you can sit sideways on a motorbike and attain a hairstyle like Jamie Oliver being pulled legs first from a heifer's arse. Young Quiggzer was on the show this morning but refused to talk about his love DIangle or Simon Cowell's high waistband. Britney Spears proved you can comeback from a comeback, mime and still get away with it. And, Johnathan Ross proved how important it is to encourage good family values when he blurted out on Russell Brand's Radio show that Russell had indeed "f*cked" the granddaughter of Andrew Sachs, little Manuel from Fawlty Towers, who turned out to be a dancer in a shite troupe called the Satanic Sluts...who then appeared on the Late Late Show and nearly gave poor Pat even more reason to call him wooden, off the back of their publicity...KARAZZY!!!

Well i hope this year is as mental and getting out of bed this morning was like having my fingers wrenched from the edge of a cliff and falling into a pit of boiling arses...Well, it wasn't quite so bad but close ;-)



So, here are some pics that rounded off the year of 2008 for us here at RedFM. They are from the mayhem they call the Christmas Party. This year the theme was Heroes & Villians and I must thank the legend Big T for my sword and ring!!!!

Frodo Spud McBaggins...the Irish Hobbit!!!


Phil and Chris discuss life


Ben from Sales as Duffman..."Duffman thrusts in the general direction of the free bar"


Caroline & Eimear VB. Unfortunately Caroline didn't take my advice and still had the glove on after returning from the ladies...she's been walking like John Wayne ever since....OUCH!

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring...bananaphone...hmmmmmm


Random morning after pic. "Okay, i can fix the pipes but it'll cost ye a bag of bonios"


No caption required.