My Sardinian Adventure:


Well we've been back for over a week and the tan has well and truly dissolved...i had to declare it at Customs on the way back and it was taking off me in order not to depress anyone who hasn't been on holiday yet :-(

So haven't had an opportunity to throw up some of my holiday pics...so here goes:


Crystal clear waters and some stunning alcove beaches make Sardinia a real find. (jesus i sound like i'm on No Frontiers!) Seriously though it's an amazing island especially if ye just want to chill out and catch some rays. The average temp while we were there was about 36c! You could have cooked an egg on the pavement!


View from the hotel. This was in a place called Santa Caterina di Pittinuri...sounds like a mouthful but was also an eyeful. Hotel was on a cliff-side and had some of the most incredible panoramic scenes i have ever seen. Very few people spoke English so my ten year old Italian phrasebook was essential. I did have one experience where i was trying to order an Italian coffee i thought was called a "mercato" so i was straining to explain what i wanted "Erm, Mercato please". At this point she shrugged her shoulders and looked at me like i had a skidmark slapped across my forehead. Needless to say i opted for Tea, at which pooint she just mumbled something that probably went along the lines of "What a langer i'll enjoy rinsing my knickers in his tea". It wasn't until i got back that i found out that a "Mercato" is in infact a Market. Maybe she thought i was gonna set up a stall :-(



Bad Apple: I couldn't resist taking a pic of this evil looking fruit. It was part of a children's fair. If you look closeky enough at the pips you can see it's eyes! *shudders*


Believe it or not this is a parked car. It looks like it fancies giving the other cars a peek! "Ooh check out me bumpers!"


TWO LEGGED HORSE! Scary thing is the fella riding in the cart had four. AAARRGGHHH!!


Oh Yeah...nearly forgot about this pic i managed to snap of a twisted looking Amy Winehouse leaving one of the island's hotspots.

OFFICE OLYMPICS!!!!!!!!!!!

Just back from Blackpool Shopping Centre where The Red Rooster held the Inaugral Office Olympics tournament. Forget Beijing this was all about Blackpool...Teams from local businesses took place in events like the Mobility Motor Scooter Marathan, Bull head bike race, Three legged Clingfilm race and the Water Cooler Aquatic Sprint.

The final standings were -



GOLD - BANK OF IRELAND
SILVER - ATRIUM BUS. CENTRE & CBS BUTLER
BRONZE - CMG ARCHITECTS
CHOCOLATE!! - LOGAN & ASSOCIATES

Fair to say it was total insanity!! Big shout out to everyone who popped down to say hello and to everyone who took part. Will have all the madness and photos to prove it on Monday!!!!

In the meantime if ye fancy setting up your own OFFICE OLYMPICS tournament in the comfort of your workplace, here's ahandy step-by-step guide provided by MAXIM Magazine:

http://www.cojoart.com/maximfolio1/set5large22a.jpg

And here's an event you should be able to do if you have some chairs available...just make sure the Boss is on his break or even better stuck in the bogs!!!

"Chew gum and dance, Chris Brown releases advert thinly veiled as song, and makes shitloads of cash in meantime"...The R 'n' B Motto



BEATALLICA - BAND THAT MASHES THE BEATLES AND METALLICA - GENIUS!!!!!



Some pics of Colin "deedleiddledooinallinanywaysyaknow" Farrell at the Castletownbere Festival earlier this week...He is supposed to have insisted on the RedFM branding or he was gonna hop his hobnail boots off some heads!!!


"If yez don' lissen tay RedFM oil wear yer balls as a hat roight!"


"Jaysus, yez only look abou 12 and yer da Mayor, fair play, now ge' me 20 Johnny Bluuueeesssss. Here ye can uze me ID"


"Bollox"


How i imagine Cloin may look picking up his Best Actor Award.

WAHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!OFF ON...



THE VERY CAPABLE COLM O SULLIVAN WILL BE IN THE ROOSTER HOTSEAT PLAYING SOME OF THE VERY BEST SCHTUFF WE HAVE DONE OVER THE LAST 8 MONTHS...IT'S TWO WEEKS OF 'ROOSTER GOLD'....GEDDIT WITH THE OLYMPICS AND ALL THAT..BA BOOM CHI *shuffles away quietly*

SEE YE ALL IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS...HERE'S SOME FUNNY BITS TO KEEP YE HAPPY FOR A LITTLE BIT:

When animals attack!!!

This Panda has no fashion sense:

Pork Off!!!!!!! I took this pic in Dublin it must be one of the most random things i've ever seen...


...however maybe not as random as this!!!!

LOUIS WALSH IS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A NEW GIRL BAND...I THINK HIS SEARCH STOPS HERE:

The 'Albagate' Incident has been solved...Here is the original video of Chris the self-styled "Jennifer Alba fanatic" (he thinks she's really talented..in what way Chris!!??) Here's the Rebel man himself professing his love. The video has been a massive hit amongst Corkonians and Youtube surfers and we had the man himself on the show this morning:



CELEBRITY SWEARJAR - OVER €700 UP FOR GRABS!!! WE ARE LOOKING FOR ONE STAR WHO PUT THE FOOT IN THE MOUTH. HERE ARE SOME INCORRECT GUESSES SO FAR:

GEORGIA FOX (guessed loads it's not her!!)
JANICE DICKINSON
CAMERON DIAZ
KIRSTEN DUNST
HALLE BERRY
FERGIE (singer not United Manager ;-)
CHARLIZE THERON
HILARY SWANK
HEATHER MILLS
DREW BARRYMORE
PAMELA ANDERSON
JULIA ROBERTS
MADONNA
JENNIFER ANISTON
ELLEN DE GENERES
CALISTA FLOCKHART
KATHY BATES
ANGELINA JOLIE

Get off your high horse and get on your High Heels!!!


A Truly Unbelievable Story - Wow:

OXEGEN 2008!! IT'S A MANIC MAZE OF MUD, MAD F*CKERS BUT MAINLY MUSIC AT IRELAND'S GLASTONBURY - SOME PICS

Looking like the gateway to Bedrock this was the Fred Flinstone style entrance that awaited every Oxygen entrant...i did see a couple of prehistoric people but looking at them i think they were either travelling back in time or looking for their home planet...


...like this dude from Planet Mashed...He actually spent about ten minutes in front of us in a standing Mexican Wave where we had to push him along to get him out of the way...we thought he disappeared but then we looked around and there he was...sitting in the only chair in a half-mile radius!! It's amazing how resourceful you can be when you're demented!!

Caleb Followill of the Kings of Leon leading from the front. KOL headlined on Friday night and were absolutely f*cking superb!! I must say the sound on the main stage was excellent.

Editors taking to the stage just as the clouds of doom approached.


Tom Smith from Editors wrapping some rasping vocals round his microphone. This is the first time i saw them live and they really got the crowd rocking!!


New York trendy boys Interpol had some job following Editors so they wheeled out all the stops i mean come on they had f*ckin dry smoke!!! And lead singer Paul Banks had his girlfriend, the lovely Helena Christensen (below) screaming from the side stage so i'm sure he probably just wanted to get back to pitching a tent!!!



Check out the dancing silhouettes - "Put your left welly out and shake it all about"

THIS IS CHEST RIDICULOUS...OUCH!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW BIG THOSE BIN-BAGS ARE...THE LADY IN THE CLIP IS STRIP CLUB OWNER 'BUSTY HEART' AND THEY ARE AN EYE-POPPING 46H!!!!!!!!!! SADDLE FOR A CAMEL.

CELEBRITY SWEARJAR UPDATE

Ok we have THREE of the FIVE voices:

BRITNEY SPEARS
JOHNNY DEPP
LARRY MULLEN JR.

Well Done on getting those swearing celebs. We still have another two female voices to go. €650 up for grabs tomorrow!!!!

And please DO NOT try this at home:

PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES...AND HIDE THE KIDS!!!!!


Thanks to Tracy for sending in this little beauty!! I must say that i am very impressed with the new poster campaign...I spent weeks hitting the weights with a personal trainer and i am really chuffed with the final results...as for KC he looks like a twix on steroids..jesus those pants are frightening...we are offering free counselling with every view!!!


Check out this note a mate sent me from London...He said the Coppers came out of the shop and started pissing themselves so he went and took a pic. It reads: "For sale, one owner, no parking restrictions, no speed cameras. Phone Bill - 999"


A new clothing line from Amy Winehouse...CRACK.


BEST ADVERT EVER!!! Seen on the side of a bus it's an ad for a Shark series on Nartional Geographic...this is whemn advertising execs actually earn their money.

And if you're bored waste a few mins doing this 'SMART TEST'

Don't worry if ye get a few wrong it just means you're a thick shit...ENJOY

http://www.mikescomputerinfo.com/inteltest.htm

PUT A CORK IN IT KERRY!!!!!


Michael Cussen and Pearse O'Neill celebrate at the final whistle...

If there ever was a game of two halves then yesterdays's Munster Final was it!! Down and out beaten and bruised Cork looked a shambles in the first half as the Kerrymen dominated and looked like they were cruising to another final victory...but if there's one lesson to learn it's never right off the Rebels. An incredible performance from the boys in the second half sent Cork soaring to a spectacular victory over the aul enemy...WELL DONE TO CORK

CELEBRITY SWEARJAR UPDATE - NEARLY UP TO €600!!

SOME MORE GUESSES TO TICK OFF LIST:
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
DYLAN MORAN
ANTHONY HOPKINS
GRAHAM NORTON
JESSICA ALBA
WILL FERRELL
BRENDAN GLEASON
MADONNA

IF YOU WANNA PLAY JUST TEXT 'SWEARJAR' BETWEEN 6am - 10am. OR JUST CALL US LIVE AFTER TRAFFIC AT 8.05am - 1890 773336

A good advert against drug use...



This reminded me of a movie i saw years ago...Here's a scene from...wait for it...Leprecahun 5: Leprechaun in the Hood: "Ah sur begorrah i be big pimping"

CELEBRITY SWEARJAR

SOME INCORRECT GUESSES TO GET YE THINKING -

AL PACINO
HUGHIE FROM FUN LOVIN'CRIMINALS
ELLEN DE GENERES
BAZ FROM 'HOW LOW CAN YOU GO'
MEG RYAN
RALPH FIENNES
HILARY SWANK

THIS MORNING WE HAD THE GREATEST TUMBLEWEED MOMENTS

HERE ARE A FEW TO MAKE YOU CHUCKLE BUT BE WARNED...YOU MAY NEED A COUCH TO DIVE BEHIND AS THE CRINGE FACTOR GOES INTO OVERLOAD

Finally - REDFM & O2 ARE BEGGING YOU...PLEASE FREE CYRIL AND HIS SOMBRERO FROM HIS 'KERRY HELL'!!!! ALL WE ASK IS THAT YOU FREE-TEXT 'REBEL' FOLLOWED BY YOUR MESSAGE OF SUPPORT TO 50308 BY 4PM FRIDAY (THAT'S TODAY!!!).

UP THE REBELS! ALL THE BEST ON SUNDAY LADS.

CELEBRITY SWEARJAR IS BACK!!!!!!!!

We have 5 new voices for you to find.

In the meantime here's a little test to see how alert you are...

Watch the clip...



Nothing???

Now watch again and read the News Ticker...

'IT'S THE TOOTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH'

Ever fancied getting one of your TEETH TATTOOED CHECK THIS OUT:

A bored but hungry for money individual in the USA (where else) has come up with the genius idea of tattooing art on to Dentures! This particular Dental Technician who i would assume has previous convictions for digging up corpses (check him out in the video below) has decided to put the AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! back into a visit to your local Molar Mortician with the added bonus of having a drawing of your favourite Sports/Movie/TV star or fave pet or president drilled into your teeth. I'm just wondering if the person who ordered the David Letterman tattoo was self medicating at the time....mmmmmmmmm.

SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's David Letterman...


...or maybe you'd prefer a cock in your mouth


(refer to last comment)



And if ye wanna make an appointment check the website:

http://www.toothartist.com/Home_Page.php

Celebrity Swearjar back tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever thought you were any good at soccer...THINK AGAIN:

So all the talk was proven to be hyped up horsehit as Jay Zed took his controversial steps up on to the Glastonbury centre stage...Noel Gallagher pointed out that "I don't want hip-hop at Glastonbury. Jay-Z has got no f***ing chance."...Mr Z didn't take to kindly to those comments so decided to open his set with what can only be described as a harrowing version of Oasis' huge anthem Wonderwall...all i can say is Jay stick to the rapping dude...although i like his style fuck it his tongue is firmly in his cheek for this one

And in other news Amy Whinehouse was getting herself in trouble again...Fresh from stealing the limelight from Nelson Mandela at HIS concert..swapping the words from Jerry Dammers protest song from "Free Nelson Mandela" to "Free Blakey my Fella" Of course it is understandable that she places scumbag Blakey Civil-Servant on a pedestal with an iconic and inspirational leader of civil rights...woman get your shit together

You gotta watch to the very end...listen closely...MUPPET!!!!!!!!!!!!



Here she is swinging for a fan at Glasto...I'd love to know the words exchanged.."Amy you having the crack"...

It looks like the recent Petrol hike is even beginning to affect our Superheroes...



And check this out...We all know Shane McGowan is fond of a drop but little did we know he has the voice of an angel...

First things first...let's go to the money shot...Over 1200 Quids up for grabs in Celebrity Swear Jar
Here are some more of your incorrect guesses....

ASHLEY JUDD
TERI HATCHER
LAURA FLYNN BOYLE
JUDI DENCH
PATSY KENSIT
GOLDIE HAWN

Hope that narrows it down more for ye, remember to scroll down my BLOG for all other guesses and add to your list...We are getting very close and will have another clue for you very soon...i promise...it's serious cash at this stage and could easily pay for a top holiday to get away from this wet shite!!

NOW BE AFRAID...BE VERY AFRAID...I FOUND THIS VIDEO FROM A STORY WRITTEN BY OUR VERY OWN 'TV SHEENA' FROM ENTERTAINMENT.IE - EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE OF WINEHOUSE REHEARSING FOR GLASTONBURY

http://entertainment.ie/celebrity_gossip/Amy-Winehouse-A-Journey-Through-Planes-Impersonators-Lollipops-and-The-Id/21603.htm

Shawn Corey Carter better known as Jay-Z or as my Mum calls him 'Jay-Zed' is winging his hip-hop head down to the marquee tonight. Ive heard his backing group is unreal...superb session players so hopefully he won't just have a beatbox 3 in 1 stereo in the background like Dustin at the Eurovision or 50 Cent last year. If you're a fan and you are heading along...should be good so enjoy and take a listen to this:

This is a remix of Jay-Z's Black Album with The Beatles White Album to create the GREY ALBUM!!! Masterminded by Dangermouse from Gnarls Barkley:

Here's the mouse man sampling 99 Problems with the Beatles Helter Skelter:



Here he is using Encore from J and using the "OH Yeah" hook from Glass Onion:



And some comic relief for today, "Dya have a licence for dat vayhickle???"