TO CELEBRATE THIS BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A BRILLIANT ONE, LET ME TAKE YOU BACK TO THE FUTURE:



Remember this guy from one of the best movie trilogies ever made...



His name was BIff Tanner and he was the arch nemesis of BTTF's eponymous hero Marty McFly. If you were to Google a "Where are they now?" for this guy, you would find out that his real name is Tom Wilson and that he is a very funny man. Here he is performing his "Questions" song all about his time playing the Bell-end Biff in the movies. I love the fact that he is embracing the one role that has defined his life rather than being bitter about being typecast as a tosser! I also sent an email to his agent so fingers crossed we're gonna get him on The Rooster sometime back in the future...which is ahead but we would have to go back if we went forward but...if...anyway, Jesus I always had issues with the plot :-S ENJOY

When The Beatles sang, "baby, you can drive my car" they didn't mean for it to be taken literally:

BTW there is no audio with this clip, the pictures speak for themselves.

Police in Utah were alerted to the incident after reports of a child driving recklessly through a stop sign. He eventually stopped in the driveway of his own home and later explained he had taken his father's car to avoid going to church. All he had to do was say he had the squirts...the Yanks always have to go one better!

JEREMY CLARKSON BEATS A BOX...BUT I COULDN'T SEE HIM BEATING HIS WAY OUT OF A WET PAPER BAG...M.C. 'DAD JEANS' IN DA HOUSE:

U2 360 CROKE PARK

Here's the science bit:

80,000: The number of people in Croke Park on Monday night.
500,000: number of pixels on the expanding video screen
31: stops on the current tour
3: number of steel structures (AKA The Claw) built and used on a rotating basis on tour.
1,344: structural pins used on the screen
164: approximate length, in feet, of the pylon/spire
8: number of hours to set up video screen
6: number of hours to tear it down
60: approximate weight, in tons, of the video screen
360: estimated number of crew members, factoring in drivers and vendors in addition to ground crew.
70 MILLION: Cost to put on the U2 360 Tour

and finally

10: The number of times i had to stop screaming out: "Go on the f*ckin Hedge."

HOLY SHITE!

IS THIS THE WORLD'S GREATEST RECORD?

Most people sit on the bowl...he breaks it :-S

This movie kind of annoyed me recently. Like Roddy Doyle once said that Ullysses could have done with a good Editor, i think the same can be said of this Michael Mann masturbation fest. I am a massive fan of Johnny Depp and eagerly await his role in the upcoming adaptation of HST's Rum Diary but this is just annoying. Mann's deplorable use of Hi-Def in the action sequences lends more to the quality of film seen from the handicam of a drunk Uncle on a Christmas weekend (at one stage i expected to see shaky pictures of Johnny and Christian opening pressies at the foot of a tree with Michael Mann fucking cooeing in the background). Some of the special effects employed lent less to Mann's "realism" and more io the type of low grade documentary re-enactment seen on the Discovery Channel. Mann is a Director of the highest calibre but this was overly long laboured and did not engage.

With a cast as good as this it should have been electric. I must say though the high point for me was Stephen Graham (Snatch, Lock, Stock) playing the Babyface character with the most ridiculous high pitched yonkers accent making him sound like he was auditioning for the new Three Stooges movie. Everytime he was on screen i just awaited a fella with a bowl cut and another with curly hair jumping on his back..."Awwwww whyyyyyy iiiii ooouuuuggghtttaaaa nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."

I would have preferred to have given my money to whoever put this together:

ROOSTER EXCLUSIVE!


FATHER TED GOES DOWN!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEANT 'UNDER'

FATHER TED IS OFF TO AUSTRALIA
The hugely popular TEDFEST is going global and will now have another one of it's festivals kicking off in the land of scary reptiles, hairy jumpy animals with huge feet and ill-propotioned tiny hands, and Alf Stewart. The event is being franchised as part of a global development plan, with Australia being the first country to establish an overseas version of the annual celebration of the 1990s television series Father Ted.

Tedfest Oz will take place in the remote bush town of Parkes, NSW over the Easter weekend on 2010. Parkes' last claim to fame was in 1969 when the town's satellite dish broadcast television pictures of the Apollo moon landings. Seems appropriate that 40years after the Moon landing we now have Ted landing!

We had the man who started it all off on the show this morning, Peter Phillips and he is looking forward to eventually bringing Ted all over the world.

For more info go to www.tedfestoz.org

Was in in Dublin for the weekend and decided to watch Downfall on my laptop on the train journey back to the rebel County. I have been meaning to check it out for ages but never bothered, but i'm so glad in did now. The movie surrounds the last days of a certain Adolf Hitler (you know the guy: greasy comb-over, dodgy moustache, small man syndrome, walked like he left his clothes hanger up his arse) and the rest of his Nazi cohorts in his bunker in Berlin at the end of the Second World War. The movie is seriously intense and sweeps you up for over two hours and when i picked up the car at the train station, and drove home i was still thinking about it. So, you can imagine my surprise when i pulled into the petrol station in Blarney and saw this!


...AN SS GERMAN ARMY WWII ARMOURED VEHICLE!


...for a split second i thought the Nazi's had decided to regroup in Cork via Meath...I was going to wave at the fellah driving the pick-up truck but he might have taken my one armed salute the wrong way :-S

If Beckham or Ronaldo did this the papers would be getting a horn. Check out this bicycle kick...Lance Armstrong would be proud!

WACKO JACKO HAIR HORROR!

This would have been HUGE news back in the 80s and ended with Wacko pursuing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Pepsi, obviously not his choice for a new generation...of hairstyles. This is the first time the video of that incident has been released to the public. Jackson was recording a commercial for the drink's giant when the pyrotechnics went off too early... and he had a fair amount of Soul-Glo Hairspray on that head!



Here are a few videos that should put a smile on your face. First up, i don't think i'd be the first person to admire Denise Richard's funbags and now she is sharing them with everyone:

Denise Richards' Funbags from Denise Richards

And Spiderman and Milk actor James Franco reveals all about his profession:

Acting With James Franco Episode 1: "Sense Memory" from James Franco

I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE...

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

ON THE TUBE CALLED YOU

Well, it's only taken me a week (which in Internet terms is about 10 years) but i have managed to work out how to get my Marquee gig on youtube. Ok, i'm lying it wasn't me but my mate Larry *tips hat* so cheers dude. Now, i'm hoping for as many hits as that fat ankled eyebrow woman from Scotland but if i get more than 12 i'll be happy.

So, here we are. Me losing my stand-up virginity caught on tape. Please beware it's quite explicit and contains scenes of mild nudity!!

VASSSUPPPPPPPP!!!!! BRUNO UNMASKED.

Sacha Baron Cohen aka Ali-G, aka Borat, aka Bruno talking to David Letterman on his show last night. He describes the part in the Bruno movie where they mananged to interview a genuine terrorist (i just thought you look up T in your local Golden Pages or incorporate Allah into your stand up routine but NO it's much more complicated than that). He sounds very posh..he went to Cambridge don't you know... Oohhh vely nice.


WORLD'S SCARIEST NUMBER PLATE. WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T HONK YOUR HORN!

STANDING ROOM ONLY. CHECK THIS OUT:

RYANAIR has approached plane maker Boeing about the possibility of providing standing room or stools in place of traditional seats on board its aircraft.

The airline, which is hoping to squeeze more passengers on board, said those standing or using the stools could fly for free.

It said if Boeing comes back and says it is possible to replace four rows of seats with stools or standing space it will prepare a proposal for the Irish Aviation Authority (IAA) seeking approval.

Continue reading story HERE



Still trying to upload my Marquee bit on youtube. Issues with converting and all that shite. If i don't get it up by Friday it'll be ancient news...ahh the wonderful world of the web. In the meantime laugh and be merry with this brilliant parody of 'Yellow' by top U2 tribute act Coldplay. It's from a guy called Jon Lajoie and it's hilarious and a little naughty *giggles*. A subject that is close to all our hands:

TOILET HUMOUR!!

FIRST OFF THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED. LEGENDS.

SOME PICS FROM BACKSTAGE FRIDAY NIGHT:

'Frank' (Brian Cody) who had to rip the toilet up with me on it as i was called to the stage looks on as i try not too emabarrass myself ;-)


Okay, time to get respectable. Nice mic placement.


And into the main meal. Although it was 5 mins it felt like 30 secs. The stage was huge but i am proud of the fact that i am the first performer to execute a 'roly-poly' at The Marquee :-)

MORE PICS AND VIDEO TO FOLLOW.

There is also a piece i wrote in the Evening Echo tonight so check it out!!

X MARKS THE SPOT!


"Jesus, whatever you do don't look down"


It was getting quite hot in there at this stage. I felt a tad overdressed ;-)

UPDATE ON MY CHALLENGE:

IF YOU CAN SACRIFICE A FEW QUID PLEASE HELP ME HIT THIS €5,000 TARGET.

I have set up a charity web page that makes it really easy to donate.

Anything at all would be great.

Thank You.

Just click here: LENNY'S CHARITY PAGE