EVER FANCIED DRIVING ONE OF THESE???


OR RIDING IN ONE OF THESE...THE CAR THAT IS!!!?? ALTHOUGH SHE DOES LOOK LIKE SHE SEEMS TO HAVE DROPPED A CONTACT LENSE


Well fear not because an Exclusive Car Club has been started in the UK which gives Members access to a fleet of supercars, from Lamborghinis to Ferraris to Estate Cortinas (ok the last one is a bit specialized but i'm sure you could ask???)

http://www.ecurie25.co.uk/

STAREY EYED SURPRISE
DAVID BLAINE IN DEEP WATER RECORD ATTEMPT

He's been frozen in a block of ice, buried alive for a week, starved in a glass box and has even managed to do up all his school shirt buttons after a session of double P.E. in the middle of winter. Now, after months of training, the Magician with the unnerving stare David Blaine will attempt to break a world record live on the Oprah Winfrey show tonight . He's risking heart failure, brain damage…even death and a certain amount of dignity! He is attempting to break the current world record for the longest time for holding your breath underwater - the current record is held by Tom Sietas and stands at 16minutes and 14 seconds!!! At least we won't have to hear him talk for that length of time.

Here he is talking from his special Oxygen tent...



Check it out...it's on tonight and may be streamed live

http://www.oprah.com/tows/coming/tows_come_main.jhtml

And if you haven't checked it out yet this is one of the best piss-takes of the starey-eyed wonder

If, like me, you've been having restless nights of late wondering what happened to the pipe-cleaner headed rapper and resident of Gansta' Paradise Estate...COOLIO...then toss and turn no more because i have found him...YES he has become the Gordon Ramsay of the rap world and has dropped to new heights by appearing in his own cookery show...It's called, rather imaginatively 'COOKIN' WITH COOLIO'

Rachel Allen eat your heart out...SHAKAZULU MOTHERF*CKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Methinks he spends more time filling his bong than the kitchen cupboards...

New musical instrument for tossers..."My eyes, my eyes...jesus i'm blind...ah but at least i can hear it aahhhhhh"

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today we were talking about weird phobias...KC has serious issues with people licking dry towels, others have issues with crumpled paper, some of ye out there can't stand pigeons, goats, cats, toe-nails, the sound of marker pens on paper!!! Me, on the other hand have no weird afflictions...but if you ever come towards me weilding a roll of sellotape ready to peel *goose pimples* i will either lodge it in an orifice or jump through the nearest exit doesn't matter what floor i'm on...aaaarrghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thankfully we are not alone ...check this weirdo out...

STUDENT Gillian Linkins suffers one of the world’s most bizarre phobias – a fear of BUTTONS.
Gillian, 22, can’t even stand to be in the same room as friends and family who wear them.
She first realised her fear aged seven, when she refused to put on her school blouse.
The sight of buttons sends Gillian into panic attacks and boyfriend Nate Dorrington, 23, can only wear clothes with zips.
She said: “I’ve had the fear as long as I remember. My mum says I freaked out when it was time to get dressed.
“I have always been fearful of buttons, especially when they are grouped together.
“For me touching a button would be like touching a cockroach. It feels dirty, nasty and wrong. When I was younger my brother used to tease me by opening my mum’s button tin. I hid in my bedroom until he put them away.

“My cousin was wearing a button necklace one day and in the end she had to take it off.I could not stand being in the same room as her.”

She added: “Some people don’t believe me and I try to joke about it. I’ve tried things like self-help tapes and hypnotism but nothing has worked.

“Watching the children’s TV show Button Moon is like being made to watch a horror movie. People just think I’m weird.”

But Gillian’s not alone. Her phobia – officially named Koumpounophobia – affects one in 75,000 people. A spokesman for The National Phobics Society said: “The phobia often affects children and the problem can persist into adulthood.

Here are TEN genuine phobias...

ARACHIBUTYROPHOBIA - fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

DEXTROPHOBIA - fear of objects at the right side of the body.

HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPPEDALIO-PHOBIA - fear of long words.(something tells me this is horseshit...don't know what gave me that idea)

AULOPHOBIA - fear of flutes. (could be the result of watching American Pie)

DOXOPHOBIA - fear of expressing opinions. (any member of Fianna Fail)

CLINOPHOBIA - fear of going to bed. (anyone under the age of 14 has at one point suffere from this .. also known as SCHOOLIPHOBIA)

SOCERAPHOBIA - fear of parents-in-law. (speaks for itself)

SYMMETROPHOBIA - fear of symmetry. (when two women wear same dress on night out...ouch!)

OPTOPHOBIA - fear of opening your eyes. (also known as sleeping)

LITICAPHOBIA - fear of lawsuits. (usually ok around a shirt & tie though)

GOOD NEWS if you have a mortgage....BAD NEWS if you've booked a Winter holiday for 2012 cos that's when the world is going to end...according to this programme anyway...CHECK THIS OUT - well worth a look if you're bored off yer tits today



And PART TWO



After all that apocalyptic angst here's a little something to lighten the mood...It's a classic but is weel worth another look...If only Employment Traning Videos were as funny as this...Oi!!! Look at my face when i'm talking to ye!!!

How to give the perfect man hug...

A firm, hearty handshake is always an appropriate way for men to greet each other. But when men achieve a greater familiarity, a man hug becomes appropriate. Some men fear male on male hugging of any kind. But done in an appropriate way, men can still hug while remaining secure in their manhood. Here’s how:

As a final note, some men, are not quite comfortable with the fully embracing style of hugging even when done correctly. Thankfully there is a bridge between the handshake and the bear hug. With the REAL man hug comes certain protocol and procedure that men haven’t articulated, but nonetheless follow. These unspoken rules allow men to hug each other without feeling like they’re being wussy.

The How of the REAL Man Hug

1. Begin with a traditional firm handshake

2. Keeping your hand clasped with your buddy, wrap the left arm around the shoulder of your friend.

3. Slap your friend’s back two times. The back slap is key just don’t try this directly after lunch this may result in a technicolour t-shirt . However hitting your fellow man makes the hug appear more manly.

4. Release embrace.

When to REAL Man Hug

Man hugging is not appropriate with every man you come in contact with. It carries with it a certain intimacy that should be reserved for close friends and family. If you were to try to man hug a new acquaintance, you would probably be greeted with stiff awkwardness. However, if you’ve developed a bond after your initial introduction, a goodbye hug may be appropriate upon parting.

To find out more manly things like "How to kick a door down" or "How to write a love letter like a soldier" Do a manly cough and shake your fists to -

http://artofmanliness.com/

WHEN LOGOS GO WRONG...


Oh no...


Just plain wrong...


Big cock-up...We specialise in Hard Drives



Lay down there while i give you a filling


How can you administer a suppository with your hands in the air Doctor?

Here's a heads up on tomorrow's show...We're gonna be talking Celebrity Homes...here's a briliant website i found with loads of nosey pics of Hollywood homes!!! Ah go on ye know ye want to peek through the keyhole...

http://hookedonhouses.wordpress.com/category/famous-houses/

Advice for the weekend...never Google Chuck Norris -

http://clients.arranschlosberg.com/chuck/

Have a cracking weekend. I'm gonna be down in Macroom on Saturday night hosting a 'Stars in Their Eyes' style competition in the Leisure Centre, should be a great craic so if you're around pop your head in...then on Sunday it's the Modified Motors Live Show in Millstreet...i won't be presenting but will try to head down to check out the cars...so in the meantime have a go well and talk to ye on Monday

With all the furore about the Olympics and the protests about the treatment of the people in Tibet, China's preparations for it's English speaking visitors continues unabated. Here is a selection of photos demonstarting that sometimes a direct translation isn't always the best policy!!!


Makes more sense than a f*ckin labrador puppy pulling sheets of shitroll...


Careful you don't catch one of these guys burrowing up your jacksee...Moles...great bunch a lads.


Good to know a helping hand is nearby!!


Bring your own rod.


Look i don't normally arrive this early..it's the first time it's happened...honest.


Find yourself in China.


Put your arse on a diet.


The first rule of Female Club is you don't talk about Female Club...second rule is...AAAAAARRGGGHHH GOD ALMIGHTY YOU WEREN'T EVEN LISTENING TO THE FIRST ONE WERE YE???!!!!! *slams door*

And finally Mikey Graham makes his attempt at an acting career in a new show called Hollywood Trials on RTE2 tonight. Regular Logbook Bloggers will be familiar with this clip but if ye haven't seen it yet...sit back relax and bask in the emotive power that is 'Fatal Deviation' Mikey's first foray towards movie stardom...



loads more clips of his heroics on youtube

To learn more about Ireland's only full length Martial arts movie set in Meath!! Go to -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatal_Deviation

SHOCK SOCCER NEWS - EXCLUSIVE
LAMPARD LEAVES CHELSEA TO PURSUE CAREER AS CHEERLEADER

LENNY'S HOLIDAY PICS!!!!
An album so incredible it would reach the top of the charts. (Ok maybe not... but if it didn't it would be a criminal record)...ok, enough sorry here's the photos -



Amazing beach in Tarifa, Spain ... apparently it's the most southernly point in Europe...a real hotspot for kitesurfers and windsurfers from around the world...they come for the amazing winds...i dont know why they don't just come and see me after a hard night down the 'Raj Palace Indian Restaurant'


Old Marbella in Spain...Old Skool Spanish town, little streets and colourful buildings. By the way, that's a blue pair of jocks drying in the sun - just incase you thought it was something symbolic like I did!


Aerial shot of 'Liondasanda' an incredible huge mountainous region in Spain. It was really windy so the helicopter was pretty scary, thankfully we were able to open the side hatch and I managed to pull this photo off...kinda reminds me of the sands in Star Wars...Okay okay, jaysus there was no helicopter...yeah it was some rocks on the beach...i'm just trying to make it sound exciting...just forget about it.


Bentley Continental Convertible - For the man who has everything...including a wanger the size of an acorn...well i suppose you have to compensate somewhere


Check out the number plate...funniest thing is we saw this get towed!!! Oh the irony!!


"GONE TOSSING" would have prob been more appropriate...This was just one of the ultra wanky overpriced boutique shops with a pair of pink bermuda shorts costing ye about €140...sad.


Woke up on the Wednesday and had this growing out of my ass...went to the doctors...he said i was farting up the wrong tree...


...as if that wasn't bad enough the foot shrunk after wearing me sweaty runners all week


..highlight of the trip - meeting Bertie Ahern relaxing on hol after his shock resignation

Oh Lord help us and just to top off my most amazing Blog entry ever here are some exclusive clips of the movie Mikey Graham (Boyzone) (thats just so you know who he is...lets face it he did fuck all without them) It's called Fatal Deviation and is Ireland's only ever full length Martial Arts movie...filmed in Meath obviously...

Keep watching till about 2 mins into clip and you'll witness Mikey Boyzone in one of his greatest roles ever...think Godfather and Goodfellas...powerful and moving