Today we had the Unofficial Red Rooster - "Top Ten Worst Sports Star Singles" There was many criminal records to choose from including Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne's foray into early 90's dance with "Fog on the Tyne" and his even more disturbing follow up "Geordie Boys" the video of which can be seen below (strange Hoff-like homo-erotic poses so beware and please make sure you are not operating heavy machinery!!) I also had to omit Ossie’s Dream (Spurs Are On Their Way To Wembley) The Tottenham Hotspur 1981 FA Cup song which included the immortal line - "Ossie's Going To Wembley, His knees have all gone trembly"... The criteria for my choices was strict ... 1. It had to be Shite and 2. The Sports Star had to do the vocals...
There was many to choose from but here is my final TOP TEN:
10. John Barnes rapping on England New Order Song.
World in Motion was the official song for England in the 1990 World Cup and their first number 1.
9. Chris Waddle and Glenn Hoddle – “Diamond Lights”
This Industrial electro pop anthem was written by Bob Puzey, the genius behind Russ Abbott's pop career. This single charted at No. 12 in 1987.
8. Irish Team featuring Westlife & Dustin – “Here Come The Good Times” World Cup 2002 Song…This song spent 6 weeks in the charts.
7. Oscar De La Hoya – “Mi Amor”
Former Middleweight Boxing Champion Oscar De La Hoya's 2000 self-titled CD was actually nominated for a Grammy. But listen and try not to laugh. And while you're listening, keep in mind, this guy kicks the shit out of people for a living.
6. Kobe Bryant featuring Tyra Banks - K. O. B. E.
Los Angeles Lakers star attempt at Rap the album never materialized.
5. Snooker Loopy written by Chas & Dave and featuring Dennis Taylor, Steve Davis, Willie Thorne and Terry Griffiths. Released in 1986 this got to number six in the UK charts.
4. Remember Puff Daddy released his tribute to Notorious B.I.G.
Macho Man Randy Savage tried to do the same – “My Perfect Friend” written as a tribute to Curt Hennig otherwise known as Mr. Perfect 2003.
His album Be A Man was met with scathing reviews; according to a review by Dan Aquilante of the New York Post, his album "defies the laws of physics by blowing and sucking at the same time." Another critic described the vocals as sounding like "Nick Nolte after a whiskey and sandpaper binge."
3. John Aldridge – “Lily The Pink”
The ex-Liverpool & Republic of Ireland striker won Charity You’re A Star and then released this is aid of Temple street Children’s Charity.
2. Muhammad Ali - Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay
Start with Muhammad Ali spending 40 minutes discussing tooth decay. Add appearances by celebrity guest stars like Frank Sinatra and Richie Havens, a bunch of kids, and some truly wooden dialog straight out of a dental textbook. Throw in a song that doesn't make any sense. And if that isn't enough for you, top it off with narration by Howard Cosell.
1. The Anfield Rap - 1988 FA Cup finalists Liverpool. The song was Craig Johnston's idea, not John Barnes' as many might think. At this time there were only two scousers in the first team(John Aldridge and Steve McMahon), and the theme of the song evolves around their teammates strange accents.
This song made it to #3 on the charts in England
Gazza - Geordie Boys INCREDIBLE
Hoddle & Waddle Diamond Lights (Crocket & Tubbs eat your heart out!)
Macho Man Randy Savages Tribute to Mr. Perfect
And for this Criminal Record Aldo and the boys should be locked up For LIFE!!!!!!
I'm sure I can see Steve Staunton looking sheepish in the background...if only he decided to take a career in rap instead...