BILLY CONNOLLY IS IN TOWN!!!

The Big Yin is set to play three nights starting tonight at The Opera House. It's been years since he played a gig in our fair city but he is gonna be rocking his Too Old To Die Young tour to the Leeside faithful and ye have snapped up all tickets. Here's a couple of classic Connolly clips for ye to enjoy...He is known for his use of certain naughty words so just fucking watch out if you're easily offended...





Here's some brilliant quotes from the bearded one:

My parents used to take me to Lewis' department store in Glasgow. They were skinflints, they used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was the zoo.

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on.

Two guys are talking and one says to the other: "What would you do if the end of the world was in 3 minutes time?" The other one says, "I'd sh*g everything that moved...What would you do?" And he says, "I'd stand perfectly still."

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

Save the Trees?...Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!

And Happy Birthday to Noel Gallagher...he's 41 today...Here's a classic bit of Late Late Show footage with the mono-browed one and Gay Byrne chatting at the end of Noel's fantastic acoustic version of Live Forever..Enjoy