IT'S THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Erm...HOLD ON....

IT'S THE BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND ... F*CK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some pics to take ye into the weekend...Today was very starnge...not only did the kettle pack up *sniffles* she was a great boiler and a hot worker...oh the cups of love that she spewed forth were so warming and WAKING!!!!! Had to get working on an auld coffee maker that was last used when Elvis had a recognisable waistline and boiled some scaldy from that...aaaahhhhh Now so calm...gotta say i do need my caffeine buzz in the morning especially when you are doing this job...

Most disturbing aspect of Friday was arriving at work and finding a psycho baby weilding a sharp object in my face...As you can see from the Pic below i first thought it was Stevie G regressing back to his early years and intent on an office rampage...Here's the "Scary Baby" -


"Short back and sides Mister...MMMWWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"


Saw this car last week and thought it was one of the oldest cars i'd ever seen in this country especially in such excellent nick...


...that was until i saw this yoke at a Vintage Car Rally in Youghal at the weekend..Is this the oldest registered car in Cork?? Jaysus i'd say you'd be hard pressed to find any motor oolder than this in Ireland...unless the previous owner was Fred Flintsone sorry (O' Flintstone).


Grab yer sticks and skins it's the latest craze to hit Cork...

BILLY CONNOLLY IS IN TOWN!!!

The Big Yin is set to play three nights starting tonight at The Opera House. It's been years since he played a gig in our fair city but he is gonna be rocking his Too Old To Die Young tour to the Leeside faithful and ye have snapped up all tickets. Here's a couple of classic Connolly clips for ye to enjoy...He is known for his use of certain naughty words so just fucking watch out if you're easily offended...





Here's some brilliant quotes from the bearded one:

My parents used to take me to Lewis' department store in Glasgow. They were skinflints, they used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was the zoo.

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on.

Two guys are talking and one says to the other: "What would you do if the end of the world was in 3 minutes time?" The other one says, "I'd sh*g everything that moved...What would you do?" And he says, "I'd stand perfectly still."

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

Save the Trees?...Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!

And Happy Birthday to Noel Gallagher...he's 41 today...Here's a classic bit of Late Late Show footage with the mono-browed one and Gay Byrne chatting at the end of Noel's fantastic acoustic version of Live Forever..Enjoy

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

And check out this...McDonalds known for attracting the kiddies with their Happy Meals and famous Ronald McDonald clown...this is the first ever appearance of the ginger one presumably before he went on a psychotic rampage...Enjoy (you'll need a hot milk to sleep after this one)

WELL DONE MUNSTER!!!!!!!

Here's a classic moment from the celebrations...Man of the Match Paul O Connell gives ROG a facefull of champers...not surprisingly O Gara doesn't retaliate..."Ah shucks thanks for the drink Paul" should be the reply if ever faced with the same situation!!



And we couldn't celebrate a Cup win without a Montage. "MONTAGE, MONTAGE F*CK YEAH"



And here's your MONDAY 'AAAH' MOMENT

Kittens 'adopted' by pet rabbit



Six abandoned kittens have found an unexpected new mother figure - a pet rabbit.

Veterinary nurse Melanie Humble took the three-week-old kittens to her Aberdeen home.

The kittens seemed to think Summer the rabbit was their mother and began to climb all over her and try to feed from her.

Efforts will be made to find the four males and two females permanent homes in the coming weeks.

Melanie, 29, told the BBC Scotland news website: "The abandoned kittens were handed in when they were about three weeks old and I took them home.

"Summer the rabbit was taken inside on Bonfire Night because of the fireworks and the kittens seemed to really like her and thought she was their mother."

My Pics of the day...


"Yah Taypot get outa that"


Wow cucumbers at my local Supermarket are reduced to €79!! F*ckin bargain!!!


The REAL Britney....All those pics ye see in the mags are lies...Looks like she could literally Break the Ice...Polar bears are shitting themselves


Tom at a recent Scientology get together...Apparently L.Ron Hubbard encouraged members to teach their arse how to eat fabric...especially denim...ooooh painful

Imagine trying this on a Monday morning...three words - head, floor, regret.


And R.I.P. Tommy Burns - A true Celtic legend and described as a gentleman by all who knew him. Scott McDonald the Celtic Striker who helped them clinch their historic third SPL in a row summed it up..."We loved him. He was just a gentleman at heart. God rest his soul. We did this for you Tommy - God bless."



CAN HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF???


TOO F*CKIN RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

COME ON MUNSTER!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK TO THE LADS THIS WEEKEND!!!!

What a game!!! United pull away champions from a mad night that would not have looked out of place in a Hollywood script. Infact if a screenwriter pitched that idea with all the twists and turns and alternate endings they'd probably get laughed at...either that or they'd get Dolph Lungren to play the lead and send it straight to the bargain basket!!


BEWARE...CAUTION ... THERE'S A JOHN TERRY IN THE HALL

I WAS WATCHING LAST NIGHT AND TRYING TO THINK OF WHO AVRAM GRANT REMINDED ME OFF...*STROKES CHIN*

Sticking with a Simpson's theme from yesterday...this is probably one of the most disturbing things i have ever seen :-S.....D'OH!!!!!!!!!!



Imagine this down the Cross at half-time...

This is genius especially if you're a Simpson's fan -

EVERY COUCH GAG IN JUST OVER FOUR MINUTES:

http://tapespace.com/view/Every_Simpsons_Couch_Gag

What did you want to be when you were growing up?? I know it sounds like a cliche but i genuinely wanted to play for Manchester United, i lived and breathed United from about 5 and wore out my first kit from wearing it 24/7...My Mum had to hide it in the end...i even wrote to Jimmy Saville and asked him to fix it for me to train and play with the team, i'm still waiting with wide-eyes at the letter box each day for a reply *sighs*...These are some of the best from Rooster listeners this morning...Yer a strange bunch...and i love it!!!!

I wanted to be a boxer and a dentist so i could fix my own teeth! I m now a sales assistant and headin back to college in september, Eoin

I wanted to be the street payment artist outside Cashes, im looking for a job now as a renewable energy engineer

Wen i was 6 i thought the idea of doing dead peoples make up was the best thing ever..!tami

My brother wanted to be a Penguin! hes now an actor- something tells me no amount of good acting is gonna persuade someone hes a Penguin! Sharon

When i was younger i always dreamt of being a cow. But its not to be. I m still im school

My aunt wanted to be a tractor and trailer when she grew up!

When i was young i wanted to b an air hostess now i make tic tacs for a living,never would i ever imagined doing that for a living

No bull now lads,i wanted 2 b a bulldozer.coz they r so big nd yellow...i feel ashamed

I wanted to be mary poppins ... Think of it free travel as could fly any where with the umbrella and one small bag tat could fit every thing .... Michelle in Nadd....

AND A COUPLE OF TEXTS FROM 2 VERY SPECIAL LISTENERS:

When i was young i wanted to be a football manager when i grew up. I wanted to manage a world class football team who could win lots of trophies and do very well in europe but instead i got the rangers job. Ah well. Yours sincerly, walter smith. Ha ha ha ha

When i was young i want to be a tree, i ve nearly acheived my dream, i work as a plank. From pat kenny



Check out these loopers -

Pupils sent home after turf prank

Clearing up the turf could cost hundreds of pounds

The entire sixth year of a school was sent home on their last day after pupils turfed over the floor of their common room.

Teachers at Banchory Academy in Scotland took the step after it was discovered some pupils had been drinking.

Aberdeenshire Council said it was decided to send all 100 pupils home.

A spokesman said there were concerns about disruption to exams taking place in the school. One 17-year-old pupil was charged with breach of the peace.

'Particularly disappointing'

An Aberdeenshire Council spokesman said: "Banchory Academy is extremely disappointed that the disruptive actions of a number of sixth year pupils has spoiled what was due to be an enjoyable day of activities to mark their last day of term.

"There was evidence that some pupils had been drinking and given the size of the year group the head teacher has had no choice but to send all of them home, both for their own safety and to avoid any disruption to standard grade exams under way today.

"This will be particularly disappointing for those sixth years who were genuinely looking forward to their last day of term."

The spokesman added: "A day of activities had been planned to but due to the actions of a minority of pupils this has had to be cancelled.

"This is a very poor way for pupils to end their school career and we hope those who disrupted the day understand the upset their actions have caused."

The cost of clearing up the turf has been estimated at hundreds of pounds.

THERE'S ONLY ONE IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO COME FROM ALL THIS:

KEEP OFF THE GRASS LADS

READ THIS WHILE YOUR WATCHING ABOVE VIDEO

Cider company Bulmers has confirmed that it has fired eight workers over a YouTube video.
The workers at its plant in in Clonmel in Co Tipperary were fired for what it described as serious health and safety breaches that were filmed on a mobile phone.

The men were seen jumping into a moving forklift, turning on vehicles and allowing them to move on the warehouse floor without drivers, spraying fire extinguishers and somersaulting from stacks of crates onto cardboard boxes. (I remember working in a Marzipan factory while at College and we used to used the back of the open delivery doors as goalposts for a bit of night shift 5 a side...difference is these muppets POSTED THE FECKIN VIDEO!!)

Those involved are all experienced, full-time workers.

The video was called 'Working Hard for Bulmers' and was set to the tune of the mobile phone ringtone 'banana phone'.

A spokeswoman said the company had almost 500 staff and jeopardising the safety of its employees would not be tolerated.
SIPTU, which represents the staff, said it would not be appealing the decision unless asked to do so by individual employees.

Maybe Bulmers should think about sending these lads to their own Comedy Festival -

If you have wild white hair and like to sleep in a Lab coat or you just have an interest in Science listen up!!! The Irish Science Teachers Association are holding a science quiz for Junior Certificate science students in Cork. The final of the quiz is taking place this Wednesday the 14th of May at Boole 4 in UCC at 7pm.

Myself (Lenny) and KC will be putting you through your paces as quizmasters on the night.

Eli Lilly are sponsoring all the prizes with a perpetual trophy and crystal vase for the winning school and book tokens of varying values for other winning teams.

So try and get along if you can. Listen to the show tomorrow cos we will be giving away some brilliant Eli Lilly 1GB Memory Stick Pens!!!!

Hope ye had a class weekend. Myself and KC spent Friday getting acquainted with a couple of canine superheroes down at the Irish Guide Dogs for the Blind open day. I got an email from Niamh, one of the many members of staff doing a brilliant job asking if we would like to meet our canine equivalents down at the centre...Understandably we were very nervous about meeting Casey & Lenny but it all went really well and i have taken Lenny the Labrador's advice and i'm only going to be wearing a neck-scarf and a pair of shades from now on...well that's if the weather holds up or i grow a healthy covering of hair!!!

Here are some pics to check out:


LENNY THE LAB... All he's missing is a leather jacket...and maybe Olivia Newton John!!


Although we were both nervous the early tensions faded away and we were formally introduced...I felt like i was meeting the Pope...yes i am genuflecting


Casey & Lenny....I knew the lads reminded me of something...


Doggy Treadmill...genius


Blindfolded and ready for my practice walk...


I think Alf the Lab just spotted a cat...luckily he got me to the end of the course...mission accomplished!

MEET OUR NEW WORK EXPERIENCE PLACEMENT. TOMMY TIERNAN WAS LET LOOSE ON THE ROOSTER THIS MORNING!!!

Tommy T and Myself

Tommy was in to tell us about another date being added to his Live at the Mqarquee gigs this summer. He has now added the 5th to the 2nd and 4th of July. Tickets went on sale today at 9pm...get em quick cos there selling out fast!!! If you missed Tommy co-presenting with me today then check out Saturdays Best of The Rooster...he's comedy gold and REALLY let loose...as far as you can on Breakfast show...he was a fuckin pleasure and i gotta say it was at once the strangest and best interviews i've ever conducted!

Here's what you can expect -
On The Late Show with David Letterman


Tommy on his 'Loose' Tour and a subject close to his heart - Mass!!


And check this out from years ago...This is one of Tommy's first stand-up appearances on TV...He looks about 17!!!

This morning we were talking about Reporter's Bloopers...Here are some absolute gems...

How is this Sky News Anchor gonna MAKE-UP for this...You'll need more than concealer to cover this one up:



BBC Presenter breaks a cardinal rule..."Say my name biach!!!!!"



"I knew i shouldn't have had that breakfast roll washed down with a can of Dutch Gold"



And finally if you want to see what Malcolm in the Middle star Frankie Muniz will look like in 30 years check out this grumpy twat:



HAVE A BRILLIANT WEEKEND SEE YOU NEXT WEEK

*SLAP* Right wake up...ok ok i'm awake...nearly dozed off on my keyboard there...better head off for a siesta...before i go check out the new Nike advert...The story is it's Directed by Guy Richie...he might be boning an aul one but he comes up with the goods...he's grand when he keeps it under two minutes...just ask Madge.

But maybe not as clever as this Viral Advert...This is either unbridled genius or total f*ckin boredom...