"WAVE GOOD-BIY TO CORK"

Morning, Afternoon, Evening, Welcome, Wilkommen, and How the f*ck are you all... Above is a depiction of what we could be riding out of Cork if a Volcano on the island of La Palma in the Canaries decides to go tits up and erupt kamikaze style on our asses. This morning we had Professor Michael Williams, a noted Geologist from N.U.I. Galway discussing reasearch he is undertaking into Tsunami's and the threat to our own shores... He reckons:

• A TSUNAMI COULD REACH IRELAND IN 2 AND HALF HOURS IF A VOLCANO ERUPTS ON ‘LA PALMA’ ON THE CANARY ISLANDS

A HUGE WAVE OF OVER 50 METRES COULD HIT IRELAND AND THE NORTH ATLANTIC
HE BELIEVES THAT IRELAND HAS INFACT BEEN HIT BY TSUNAMIS IN THE PAST IN THE YEARS 1850 AND 1755

The moral of the story is make sure you build your future house on a hill... or learn to swim quick fast...

We also had Ray Terry on the show. He is:

SWIMMING THE CHANNEL FOR MARYMOUNT HOSPICE

THE SWIM IS ABOUT 22 MILES / 35 KM

NON-STOP SWIMMING FOR 17 HOURS.

He is hoping to raise €30,000 for MARYMOUNT HOSPICE which is a brilliant cause.

We wish him all the BEST from the Rooster and if you wanna donate to Ray's Swim call into either Denis MacSweeney's Photo Shop on Marlborough St. or on MaCurtain St. He is a brave man ... Jaysus i barely got me 25m Bronze badge at school so i think its a mighty impressive undertaking...

Go Well and talk to ye soon.

Homer as a human...weird

Dear Blog,

How are you? Welcome once again to my chocolate log. If you wish to proceed answer me these questions three...

TRUE OR FALSE
1. Glenda Gilson invades every newspaper on a daily basis.
2. Glenda Gilson has an eyebrow you could ski off.

And finally...

3. Glenda Gilson and Barry Scott (cilit bang) should be dropped in grease and sent sliding inside a pipe towards a field of hungry dogs?

If this is the first time you have read my Captains log then you should be ashamed of yourself and go back to the beginning... I've done at least three entries and i'm very proud.

Have a class weekend and here's hoping that we put it up to England tomorrow in Croker. Looks like it is gonna be a classic but hope that nothing kicks off because of some horse shit about an anthem... Jesus its just an anthem and lets face it and deal with it... and move on. Its a game of Rugby and we will do ourselves proud by ignoring the queen saving and just kicking arse!!

If you are heading for TEDFEST good luck... If you're not make sure you tune in on Monday as we will have Pope Hackett aka Ronan Leydon - our official Rooster man tellin us all about the weekend mayhem.. pics will follow!! Nuns on tractors etc...

If you're a Duke Special fan we have the man himself on the show on Monday so DONT MISS IT!!!!

Have a great weekend and go well

Howdy folks hows yer arse?

Had to download this video for yez.. played the audio this morning and with video it makes sense!! R & J are in big trouble after their Production company took loads of extra cash from callers that they shouldn't have... oooohhhhh errrrr missus... Hope ye like the clip...

"I'm so mashed"

BRITNEY SPEARS

HOMER SIMPSON

There's nothing like a story of a superstar's mental breakdown. Monday mourning can sometimes be a nightmare if nothing has happened Celebrity wise over the weekend so Britney Spears looking like an extra from Babylon 5 will give a spine to the show and a really good talking point. Are we watching the mental breakdown of a young mother in front of our very eyes...remember she is only 25 which is crazy.... too much money and very little brains and few friends have led to this behaviour... What is next for the exiled Pop Princess... I fear she will finally go overboard.. its on the cards. Hope yer all well and not suffering too much from the Mondayitis which is pretty contagious...

Had Peter Phillips ... Organiser of Tedfest on the Show... I hope it will be a massive success now that they have John Aldridge, Tony Cascarino, and the guy who played Fr. Stone on board. The first year will be the hardest but lets hope its a fitting tribute to the comedic genius that was Dermot Morgan.

Details for entering the inaugral Fr. Tedfest 'Toilet Duck Comedy Awards":

The Kings Head Toilet Duck Award 2007

In association with Ted Fest 2007!
On Wednesday the 21^st February at the Kings Head in Galway eight of Ireland’s best up and coming comedians compete for a place in the final at Ted Fest 2007 on Inis Mor. Join MC Gerry Mallon for this showcase of Ireland’s finest comedy potential, battling for a place in the final line up at the sell-out Ted Fest 2007!
The final takes place in the Aran Islands Hotel on Fri Feb 23rd with MC Gerry Mallon and special guest Michael Redmond.
The prize for the Kings Head Toilet Duck Award is €1000, TV coverage, an appearance at the Cork Comedy Festival….and a golden duck.
Show begins at 8pm, tickets €8 on door.
The first annual Toilet Duck Award: Run in conjunction with the Friends of Ted Festival. Toilet Duck Award night is a showcase for the best in new Irish stand up comedy…just like a certain island-based sitcom was once upon a time…

For further details: www.friendsofted.org

Press contact: Fergal McGrath 0044 873 251 249

"I'll never mess with Keith Barry again" said a disgruntled Glenda Gilson after the Master of Druids cast a spell on her after she had insulted his new pair of Farah slacks.

Well hows the heads? Had a great show today chatting about Gay Dogs... really hard hitting topical stuff like that is what makes this country great! We had a texter concerned that his boxer dog was a bite on the camp side refusing the ride from an amorous Bitch...(dont worry that is just animal terminology!!!!).
Plus Keith Barry was on the show this morning... Check out the video of his spike trick... Incredible stuff... He is playing at The Everyman Theatre this Sunday... Check it out defo... As you can se from the pic above Glenda Gilson has already been on the receiving end of his wrath....!!!!


Have a crackin weekend and love to ye alll!!!
Easy Now.

"Thank You, Lord"

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY YE BEAUTIFUL FECKERS

"The raindrops are falling upon my roof as i write this...my letter to my love ... they remind me of how you used to tap the floor with your wooden leg and wake me up while i was watching re-runs of Prisoner Cell Block H downstairs... oh how i've missed you and your beautiful face and the way you pinned back your head every night... and how you errrggggggghhhhhhhh...
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Jaysus fell asleep there and had a horrific nightmare... wow got the sweats had a mental dream there about waking up with CHER... Lord help us and Guard Us...

Anyway had a quality show today with our LIVE PROPOSALS!!! It was a beautiful thing and i felt all fuzzy inside... aaaahhhhh.. Yes we gave away a Romantic trip for 2 to the Sante Colonic Irrigation Clinic in Bantry... Must say that our lucky winners were absolutely delighted and here's hoping they get well sucked!!

REVENGE POETRY was a hoot and helped bring a Mother and Daughter from Bandon together...!! MOre about that 2moro!! BIG Cheers for PJ Gallagher and the gang for their Naked Camera award at the IFTA's ... PJ was on the show this morn and is always a welcome h=guest he's gonna have his own show soon as JAKE STEPHENS.. CLASS!

Also got THE MAGIC MAN KEITH BARRY on the show this Friday should be excellent looking forward to that one...

So thats it from me and to play me out I have acquired the services of the King Of Cool and one bloke guaranteed to get the bed sheets rattled if ye throw him on the record |Player!!!

Here he is Al Green and "Lets Stay Together"
SMMMMMMMMOOOOOOVVVEEEEEEEEEEE

Well me heads hope ye are all well... Summer 2007 is what they are saying hopefully July time and we will see the ultimate Super Hero of modern times... Homer J himself and the family taking to the big screen.. I am a huge Simpson head and cant wait check out the Previews if ye get a chance and i will throw one of them up on the Blog.. they are f*ckin quality...

Oh yeah the show.. We have a cracking prize for all you loved up ... bunged up ... lovers out there..
Yes we have the ultimate Valentines Gift to give away..... 2 Colonic Irrigations for two couples at the excellent Sante clinic on Main Street in Midleton.. We had the owner Susan on the show recently and she was offering loads of health advice especially if you just gave up the fags and are bunged up .. its sorts that right out!!!!

So get the pipes cleaned and make sure you are tuning in all week...

Now gotta get back to my Sweat Shop of squirrels the little feckers are making me loads of Simpson merchandise that i can sell off...

"Right come on ye little fecks or i'll ate yez all......."

"When i grow up i wanna be a Potato Pie"

Howdy folks, hows the heads...ummm...uuuuhhhnmmnm mnnmfpopupquifqpiuhgfqlhpuifhpufhpufhpiuhpufh;pufhpuifh;puihfpujnvun

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jaysus... excuse me nearly choked on some really bad fish sticks and my fingers slipped onto the keyboard, luckily Big Dave who works as a Security Guard was able to do the Henrik manouevre and was able to remove the culprit with a magnificent finish into the top corner...

Ne way today we asked you what you thought would be the Greatest 7 Wonders of Cork could be and these are some of your suggestions:

SHANDON BELLS

ST. FINBARR’S CATHEDRAL

LENNOX’S CHIP SHOP

POTATO PIES

(BREAST IN A BUN) AT HILLBILLYS

PANAMAN

THE HIGH B

THE NEW TOWER BEING BUILT ACROSS FROM CITY

HALL

SIR HENRY’S

LINEHAN’S SWEET FACTORY OFF SHANDON ST.

SEAN OG O HAILPIN

JO DEANE

NIALL O FLAHERTY FROM THE SULTANS OF PING

THE FRANK AND WALTERS

ROY KEANE

FOOTBALL CRAZY SHOP

BLARNEY CASTLE

THE SHAKY BRIDGE

BERNIE MURPHY

‘IRISH JACK’ 5^th member of The WHO

Some class suggestions there heads and a few surprises!! Potato Pies are the food of God's and as far as i know they are unique to Cork... alongside Spicy Beef.... SWEET!!

GOOD LUCK dont miss the Rooster Quiz back 2 moro wahey