THANK YOU INTERNET

I didn't think it was possible to top Two Angry Camels in a Car but i was wrong...so wrong:

PORN TO BE WILD

Thumbs up (what?) from The Fonz!

Still reeling from the news that beloved and wholesome TV sitcom Happy Days is set for the porn treatment. Hustler film bosses are now ready to sex up The Fonz, Richie Cunningham and the gang with This Ain't Happy Days XXX. A guy called Tommy Gunn and his not so concealed weapon will pop more than his collar as leather-clad biker 'The Fonz'. No, it wasn't this news that shocked me this morning but the news that Irish TV's greatest Cyborg Presenter is to bow down after ten years at the helm of The Late, Late Show Pat (no, i really am human) Kenny decided to shock us all with his departure on Friday.



So, now it's time to talk replacements and top of the list is either famine victim Ryan Twiggidy or Miriam (stare into my boobs not around my boobs...you're under!) O 'Callaghan. Some are saying that Ray Darcy could even make his own arse impruint on the hot seat. An Unofficial Poll has been set up by entertainment.ie. So, now is the time to make your feelings known and vote for who YOU think should replace The Plank.

Bear in mind bonus points and much love will be awarded to those voting for the great new talent that is Sheena McGinley (she has buns of steel and a look that would freeze time i know i've been on the end of it ;-)

Personally i think i have the clear winner here:

BEAUTY IS SLIM DEEP

Ever wondered where Anjelina Jolie gets those fat lips and boney arms...erm hold on that's genetics and starvation .... OKAY that's not a good example but most of the stars we see these days are so airbruushed in magazines that they look like they have permanently stepped into a dodgy 80's movie dream sequence and their actual real life limbs, bits, bobs, and anything that they think might make the reader hurl, are nowhere to be seen. Don't know if you have seen this clip before but even if you have, it is a classic and gives you an idea of what is involved:



And every good video needs a Parody...SO HERE'S ONE FOR THE LADS:



Now, that, as Coca Cola say is The Real Thing!!!!

But we can't do a segment on beauty without mentioning the Brian Cowen 'Moob' (Man Boob) Fiasco currently gripping the country...and if we're talking men who could do with an underwire bra then we have to have Peter griffin:

JUDGE TAKES LAW INTO HIS OWN HANDS...JUDY TAKE NOTE
Check out this Judge Judo who leaps superman style on a guy who attempts to beat up a witness in a domestic violence case. It is not confirmed yet whether this is actual footage of the Chris brown trial...although he deserves to have one of his own CD's lodged in his smiley head.



TODAY'S MYSTERY SOUND:
TWO ANGRY CAMELS IN A CAR...GENIUS

HELLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Well, i haven't dropped a blog in a while so i promise to make sure i attach myself to the bowl and squeeze out one daily for the forseeable future. Had a few days off last week, and after the disappointment of the Meteors (would love to say it's alright, but i am a bitter individual and doing impressions of tapes going backward at your acceptance speech deserves a proper itchy fucking case of rabies to the accused...Freddie Starr was doing that twenty odd years ago and that says it all) And relax....ahhhhh, floating on clouds overlooking a beautiful seascape...Deep Breath...ahhhh, that's better. So, i did a Kenny Egan and legged it...not the celebrity skyscape of New York for me though...i found myself kidnapped and forced to work on the set of Fair City playing five different new characters wearing the body suits of the actors who are kept in a Silence of the Lambs style dungeon as the Producer runs around screaming about fava beans and strip lighting...Thank God i managed to get out alive eating my way through the sugar walled set...blacking myself up to fight Richard Dunne and then hopping into Peter Stringer's gearbag jumping out at Blarney as he headed back from the Grandslam victory do in Dublin...and here i am.PHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning we did a bit on advertising jingles from Radio and TV...well mainly all TV...It was the Welcome to the Jingle Quiz oh yeah...Here are the the answers:

1. Bran Flakes
2. Fudge
3. Wine Gums
4. Natural Confectionary Company
5. Kia-Ora
6. Softmints
7. Cadbury's Dairymilk...eyebrows thingy!
8. Milky Way
9. Pat the Baker
10. Rainham Sheds

You won't recognise the last one. That's because i found this site on the internet with the BEST ADVERT JINGLE EVER!!!

Anyone that can incorporate The Weather Girls "It's Raining Men" with selling Sheds is a GENIUS.

Here's a few of my personal favourites...ah takes me back:







and this used to just freak me out...a post box pillar chewing his head off...AARRRGHHH *legs it* plus yer man looks like he has some serious spinal condition:

MIAMI MIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hands up who wants to go to Miami!!

Thanks again to all the support for myself and The Tall Guy. Friday night was a brilliant craic and all yer Rooster Red Heads were out in force big time! Queues around the corner and well done to Joanne from Blackrock who scooped the trip to Miami. Here is our Meteor video again yer probably sickl of it by now but we are on a crusade to get the mnost bviews of all the nominations and you Rebel heads have got us only ten views behind the top vid!! So, please click and view if ye can so we get to top :-)
METEOR VIDEO


YOU GOTTA ROLL WITH IT!!!

"Oh my God it's quite stiff" yes love...now strap yourself in for the quickest ride ever!!





STAMPEDE AT AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL AUDITIONS!!

IT'S FEELGOOD FRIDAY!!!

And what would Feelgood Friday be without Hens in Cardigans?? Nothing that's what! The latest in a range of Poultry themed fashion accessories...Now we have "Poultry Pullovers" will we have "Cardigans for Cocks"....(although i think Durex have an extensive line for the latter)...CHECK OUT THESE SUPERMODEL FASHION FOWL:

Daniel O' Donnell eat your heart out!!!


This just screams "Look at me darling, i'm so hot right now!"


ANT & PEC: If Hens were hot water bottles...

A HUGE HUG, KISS AND HIGH FIVE TO EVERYONE!!

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO VOTED FOR MYSELF AND KC IN THE METEORS.

The voting closed at Midnight last night, so now it's just a matter for the good people at Meteor to get the abacus out and to total up how many Rebel Rooster fans have been on text and the t'internet. So, again i just wanna thank everyone who sent in a vote...and for those that didn't you can go and fu...only messing, you might have fat fingers so the texts weren't readable that's okay, i still love you...but it's just not as passionate and arousing.

So, it was a great campaign...we had the funny posters...

"Put your hands up for Fermoy"Do, Do, Do Do, Do!!!

Like Obama, we even had specially made products:

"The Choice of a Rebel Generation".... (thanks to Victor Barry for that one!)

And, we had the greatest and most energetic Campaign Manager, Meballs Hanglo:

I think Meballs takes his fashion tips from Simon Cowell.

And finally there was the video...



NO, NO NOT THAT ONE...JAYSUS I THOUGHT I'D HIDDEN THAT!!

SIGN OF THE THUMBS

IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF LOST IN GANG TERRITORY ON THE WAY HOME...FEAR NOT!!

HERE IS THE GUIDE TO ALL HAND SIGNALS...so you know your "Peace" from your "Get F*cked" :-S

Newest Rap Hand Signs @ Yahoo! Video

THE DANCING COP

Just imagine this fellah directing traffic on Patrick's Street or the Magic Roundabout on a Friday morning!!! Methinks there might be a few stray car doors left open going past...BUT at least he's entertaining...better than a Garda with a scowl

JESUS, THEY'VE ONLY GONE AND LET THEM ON TAYVAY!!!!!!!!!!!



LETTER FROM PAUL TO THE CORINTHIANS:

"And he let it be said unto the people that they should text rdj1 to 0857114444 so KCius and Lenius can win the Best Regional DJ Award at the Meteors."

AMEN.

IT'S SNOW JOKE

BRRRRRRRRR!!!! Woke up this morning to do my usual 5 mile run and 200 bench presses for the Rooster Fit Factor and i actually froze the balls off myself...Just check out the picture:


Doing some free (zing) weights


Backyard of RedFM HQ Couple of scamps make a snowman

U2 GET ON THEIR BOOTS
(well Bono does anyway!)


Did the guy who made them use a f*ckin scaffold??!!!

Although i could have done with some help getting a load of nature's dandruff off the micra myself the lads rolled up their sleeves and helped out the people of New York by shovelling snow outside the studios of the David Letterman Show. The band start a record breaking five nights as the Late Show's house band this week...maybe they were just making sure someone didn't get stuck in a moment they couldn't get out of...*coughs* ...well i thought it was funny.

You might have heard of The Running of the Bulls but this is The Running of the Brides!! Every year in New York a lot in a shopping centre is hired out for one day. On that day thousands of Wedding Dresses are sold at hugely discounted prices...You can get a $12,000 dress for under $700 so it's a very popular sale and over a thousand queued this year, some waiting two days to get in first. However, you better get your hard hat on because the Bulls have NOTHING on these ladies and someone gets taken out!!

This is kinda how i felt this morning!! No, not capable of total world domination with a whole town under the power of my Nuclear Plant, but feeling more like a man who was around when it was horses being filled up at the petrol pumps and people got excited about the wheel. Exxxxxxxccceellent! Well, not quite but before i enter my local care home and start walking around with my arse hanging out...oh hold on i do that now...anyway..here are some random funny bits to speed up your Monday. Enjoy!!!! x






...If you missed Pulling on the Beeb then check out Sunday and i think Wednesday Nights on Dave...one of the funniest things on tv at the minute