Friday, February 04, 2011

Well it is Erect...I mean ELECTION time! Jesus, I've been spending to much time alone at this keyboard.

So, in keeping with the saucy, sexy and downright debauched themes of Lenny's Logbook, I will be featuring some decidedly scandalous features and commentary on the forthcoming elections.

Starting as I mean to go on. After posting the 'Orgasm Voting' campaign yesterday. A tactic that they used in Spain to attract young people to the ballot box, I have been researching on how other countries have been doing it (voting that is). Let's face it, the posters that currently grace our lampposts and because of the wind - our streets, front gardens, and windscreens (I remember a woman calling into the Rooster once who nearly crashed because Dan Boyle landed on her windscreen on the way to work. Don't worry it wasn't the real Dan Boyle...the car would've been a right off :-S). Our politicians look like the cast of Orcs from the Lord Of The Rings. God, they are the ugliest cretons so it's lucky that looks don't matter and they are amazing, self-sacrificing humans willing to lead the country as best they possibly can. Take a tip from the SATC ladies - USE PHOTOSHOP PEOPLE! As Ricky Gervais said, "The people who worked on the Sex and the City 2 posters deserve an award." He's right, because if they weren't touched up it would have looked like an advert for Last Of The Summer Wine.

Anyhoo, here's a few tips for how we can campaign in this country:

1. Turn heads. Especially mens. Obviously, don't turn up to vote with NO PANTS on. Unless you live in West Kerry, I hear it's the norm there.

2. I have no idea what this means. It's a naked woman with a pen. That's all that you need to know.

3. American Free Speech is in the constitution. "America...F*ck Yeah!"

4. Again, no idea what this means. But, I guarantee her health and education legislation changes have incredible foresight.

5. Now, this man won't f*ck your economy. Can't say the same about your daughters :-/

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